Fate's Kinda Funny [ON HOLD]

Chapter 3: No Time to Mourn

After the weekend was over I went straight back to school. I didn't want to miss any days. I never have liked missing school days.

I walked in the school, and I didn't even talk to my friends. If I did, it was really just saying hi. I knew if I told anyone about it, I would just break down again, and I couldn't let that happen. Out of all of my friends, I was the one that was always strong for everyone. I carried everyone's stress. I was always the one they could look to for help and strength. I knew if I broke down I would be showing weakness to everyone and I didn't want that.

I try not to show weakness to anyone. I never have. I have always tried to act strong and everything because I didn't want my family to make fun of me. My sister and my great uncle have always made fun of me because I never learned how to swim really. No one ever helped me. I didn't get thrown in like everyone else was. I just didn't want to look any weaker than I already was.

The only person I told at first was my best friend, Julia. I told her absolutely everything. When I told her, I bit back the tears and held it in.

In the end, I ended up telling all of my friends about it. They all tried to help me by giving me their condolences and showing sympathy, but I didn't want that. I wanted to do it on my own. I had to find my own ways to do it.

At the end of the day when I was going to my locker my cousin, Braden, ran up to me. He rarely talked me. When he did, he usually just wanted something. I had always helped him when I could at school. I just kept walking, with him tagging along beside me. He finally decided to speak.

"Hey, Jade."

"Hey, Braden."

"I heard about your dad. You know, you didn't have to come today, don't you?" He said in a sad kind of way.

"Yea.....I know, but my mom made me come today. She said I couldn't miss any days." I twisted my story. The truth was, not only did I hate missing school but I also didn't want to let myself mourn. I had no time to mourn. I guess everyone knew by now about my dad, though. Around this school news about everything travels fast. "How did you find out about my dad?" I questioned him.

"Oh ok then. Nana told us last night. Aunt Faye had called her and told her. Well I guess I'll see you later. Bye, Jade." He said while walking away from me. At first I was kinda confused on who "Aunt Faye" was but then I remembered that that is what everyone else calls my mamaw.

"Bye, Braden." I said while we parted ways.

As I was walking down the hall still, Braden's brother, Cody, decided to walk with me.

"Hey, you know you didn't have to come today don't you? You shouldn't have come," he said matter of factly.

"I know but my mom made me come," I said with a sad expression on my face so maybe he would believe it. He could catch lies better than Braden could.

"Ok, well, I'm sorry to hear about your dad and everything. I got to go, see ya later, Jade." He said and hugged me. It kinda shocked me. He had never hugged me.

I finally got to my locker and threw my stuff in. I got what I needed to go home and went back to my class.

I walked back in and sat down. I sat there until the bell finally rung for me to go catch the bus. It always seems like it takes forever for it to ring. The last 15 minutes is always the longest.

I got on the bus and was ready to go home. Since I was one of the last stops, it took forever. I sat there in silence the whole way home. Every now and then Julia would make small talk with me. We have always sat together on the bus since we are next door neighbors.

When the bus got to Julia's house I went ahead and walked up to the front so it didn't take that long for me to get off.

I finally got off the bus and walked up to my house. I walked in and threw my stuff down and went to my bedroom.

I collapsed on my bed and just laid there. I didn't feel like doing anything, talking to anyone, or just anything at all that had to do with people. I was ready to get out of this place and be reunited with my dad again. I wasn't suicidal or anything, but I was just tired of being here and wanted to be with my dad again. He could always calm me down when something happened. He always knew how to cheer me up and make me happy.

I lied there for so long that I fell asleep. When I finally woke up, I took a shower and got ready for bed. I did all of my homework. By the time I was done with everything, it was 8. I didn't feel l like sitting up any longer, so I just went to bed again.

The next morning when I woke up I did my regular morning routine and got ready for school. I put on my clothes. I ran a brush through my hair. I ate a bowl of cereal and put my homework, books, and papers in my bag.

By the time I had done everything I was ready to walk out the door. I walked down to catch the bus and then got on. I sat down with Julia and we began talking.

"Hey, Jade," Julia greeted me as I sat down.

"Hey, Julia," I said glumly.

"How are you holding up?" She asked me.

"Well I don't even know myself,"I said as I realized that I really didn't know.

"Oh, ok then. Have you guys found out how your dad died yet?" She slowly asked as if I would break down crying again.

I thought on it for a second, and then finally found the answer to her question. We didn't know how my dad had died yet. We hadn't gotten the autopsy report back yet. We wouldn't know for a couple more weeks or months even. I was anxious to know how it really happened, but I was also scared to know what happened.

"I don't know yet. We won't know until we get the autopsy report back, we won't get it back for another couple weeks or even months," I replied.

"Oh, ok. Well have you talked to Luke any lately?" She asked me.

"Actually I haven't. I haven't talked to him in a long time. I'll try to talk to him later," I said back.

"Ok. Can I ask you a question?" She slowly asked me.

"Yea, go ahead, Julia. You don't have to ask me,"I replied matter of factly.

"Have you ever noticed how cute Luke really is?" She slowly asked me as if I might get mad. I don't know why but it kind of made me a little jealous to hear her say that.

I thought on it for a second. I've always thought that he was cute. I've always kinda had a small crush on him, but I know that will never happen so I am just staying friends with him.

"Yea. Actually I have. Ever since I first seen him, I've thought he was cute," I slowly and quietly answered back so no one else except Julia could hear.

"I think he's cute, too," she replied with a girly giggle at the end.

"I never would have thought that I would even be friends with him," I replied back to her.

"I know right!" She said back while shaking her head.

"Yea, well I gotta go, because we're at school now. I'll see you this evening," I said as I walked away from her.