AMONG THE PAGES (Completed)

PROLOGUE

I don't think there is a perfect way to describe my life, for it is not perfect itself. I was never the favorite child, let alone grandchild. I was just someone who was there to play unknown roles in everyone's lives. I was content with receiving the bare minimum; it was good enough for me until it wasn't anymore. I need someone to give me as much love as I am willing to give. I want someone to see me as more than just someone who's convenient. I want that type of unconditional love that, every time I think I'm not enough, will remind me that I am.

But where will I find that? Here, at a bar? Drunk and messed up?

"Can I get two more glasses of this, please?" I handed the bartender my glass of drink to let him know which drink I wanted to refill.

Honestly, hindi ko alam kung nasaang bar ako ngayon. I just know I went to here after witnessing the most heart shattering moment in my life. Akala ko kasi okay na kami eh. Kaya hindi ko naiintindihan,bakit ganon? Bakit ang dali-dali para sa kaniyang gumawa ng bagay na ikakasakit ko? Dahil ba alam niya na kahit ano mang mangyari magpapakatanga parin ako?

"Here's your drink, Ma'am," the bartender called me, cutting off my seconds of deep thought.

Nilagok ko kaagad ang binigay niya sa aking inumin, I find it soothing to feel it down my throat for some reason. The bitterness of the alcohol gave me comfort.Lasing na siguro talaga ako dahil unti-unti nakong nagagalit sa mga nakikita kong naglalandian sa paligid. Ano bang problema ko, bar naman to?

I want to get so drunk that I forget that this day ever happened.Gusto ko nang kalimutan siya. Gusto kong kalimutan na minsan akong nagtiwala na magbabago pa'yong pagmamahalan namin. I believed him. I believe that this time he will love me the way I want to be loved. But once again, he messed up.

I looked around and noticed this guy sitting on a couch about 10 meters away, looking hot and clean in his white Lacoste polo and grey trousers. He has this modern quiff hairstyle. Along with him are four guys who look clean as well, but they have girls on their sides. Tinignan kong mabuti ang mga kasama niya nang mahagip ko siyang nakatitig sa akin.

I looked away and drank the last shot. I don't want him to receive the wrong signal, even if I had a weird plan earlier.

For an instant, the guilt crept in me.The thoughts of asking someone to sleep with me suddenly vanish. I feel like this is wrong; it's wrong to find someone to sleep with to mend a broken heart. Aside from that, is there any guilt associated with the possibility of this being considered cheating? But cheating on whom? to someone who doesn't even give a fuck.

It's already 2 am when I decided turn on my phone. Naka turn off kasi ito simula ng umalis ako sa event, gusto ko lang mapagisa.Pagkabukas ko dito nagsilabasan din lahat ng notifications. Mga text ng mga kaibigan ko, but this one message caught my attention. It was from Vaughn Lucas Benitez.I decided to open it.

LOML:

Love, where are you?

Please pick up. I will explain.

Love?

Hello?