𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (𝙆. 𝙏𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙤 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎𝙏)

XVIII

The hospital room was quiet as it's usually been for the past two months.

With Y/n still unconscious from the accident that had occurred two months ago.

If feelings can be smelled like flowers can, the whole room would smell like regret and will overpower the scent of hydrangeas bought by her parents.

Forgiveness, and regret.

Those were the two things the lilac flowers placed on the nightstand next to her bed symbolized.

Kuroo and S/n made sure they find out about what truly happened between them.

Then came the regret from their parents.

They wanted to apologize, to hug their daughter, to talk to her.

But they've never gotten a chance to because her body lied on the creaky hospital bed, connected to machines to monitor her.

She was getting quite pale, lying there for two months.

Kenma only sometimes visited her, not wanting to see her still unconscious body under the bright hospital lights.

Kuroo and S/n made sure to visit her daily, hoping she might wake up.

He sat down at the chair placed on the left side of her bed, then resting his elbow on her hospital bed.

S/n watched as Kuroo carefully put his head on top of his resting elbow.

He played with her fingertips, like he used to when they get tired from hours of studying.

"Y/n..." he said as small droplets formed in the corner of his dull eyes.

It was his fault.

It was never hers.

It was always his fault.

He knew he was the problem, he was the one that caused this.

"There's only a small chance she'll ever wake up." the doctor's voice echoed through his head for the fifth time that morning.

Coma patients can hear what happens around them even though they were in that current state.

The doctor advised them to talk to her and tell her stories, in hopes that she might wake up.

But they can't even utter a word, they weren't worthy of speaking to her.

They had nothing to talk about.

Kuroo sucked his breath in, hoping it would hold back the tears that were about to fall from his eyes.

"I- You-" he tried to talk but no words seemed to make sense.

Apologizing now wouldn't make a difference, but he wanted to try.

"I know you can't forgive me." he finally managed to say, his eyes lightly fluttering closed.

He hasn't slept in quite a while.

"You have every reason to hate me, and that's fine. It's beyond understandable." he said sadly and gulped, swallowing the guilt and pain.

"Hate me, Y/n." Kuroo ordered her as if she was awake.

"Please hate me."

"Stop giving a f*ck about everyone else. Care for yourself, please." his tears finally streamed slowly down his pale cheeks.

S/n watched him cry, her heart felt like it was getting torn apart, like it was being shredded into tiny bits by the sharpest blades in the world.

She knew she was at fault like Kuroo is, or maybe even more than him.