Kissing Quinn Fabray

Chapter 1

"Well, at least my mom didn't decide she didn't want to know me and then choose somebody else's kid instead."

You can't even react. You know that you're sitting with your mouth dropped open and that tears are starting to sting your eyes, but other than that, you've got nothing.

Worse things have been said to you before, of course, but never like this. Never by Finn.

"That was harsh, Finn," you hear Brittany say, but she sounds farther away than she should, like you're all on a stage and she's being lifted to the catwalk by a wire the crowd can't see. You think that Brittany would giggle at that and say something about being Peter Pan and never growing up.

You know Finn is hurting and angry that you broke up with him, you do. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. He was your first kiss; your first love. He's Finn for god's sake. He might be clueless from time to time, but he's never been mean.

You push yourself to your feet. You will make it out of the choir room without crying. You have to.

You lift your chin so determinedly that you feel your hair flip on your shoulder.

"Mr. Shuester," you're shocked that your voice sounds as steady as it does, but then, you always could pull a performance when you needed to, "I think it might be more profitable today for one of my teammates to act as interim captain. I..." You think you should say that you haven't been feeling well, that you've inadvertently missed an appointment, that you thought you might have seen Jesse St. James in the hallway with a carton of eggs under his arm, but you think better of it and just stumble down the risers to the door and push through it.

You're in the hallway now and you make it a whole row of lockers before the door latches behind you, and you can't hold it in any longer. The tears overwhelm you and you cross your arms over your stomach, exactly at the spot where it feels like you were punched. Your face is contorted and you know you must look awful. It's imperative that you find the nearest bathroom to ride out this breakdown in the solitude of a stall, but you can't move.

You don't know how long you've been there, but you hear the door open and latch again. You don't know who's watching you come apart from the inside out but you can't turn around. It might be Finn and you're positive that you can't look into his face at this moment.

Then, there's someone beside you and you feel the softest fingertips slide down your arm, prying it gently loose and tangling in your own clammy fingers. You look up, startled, and instantly forget how to breathe when you're met with calm hazel eyes.

"Quinn—" You choke on the word, and she says nothing, just tugs on your hand and you have no choice but to follow her.

You stumble blindly behind her; she could be leading you anywhere.

She pulls you through a door and into a room you've never been in and suddenly you're gasping, unable to get enough air into your lungs. You think this must be what hyperventilating feels like and you hope briefly that you don't suffocate. Dying in front of Quinn Fabray would be mortifying.

You blink rapidly and through the tears you can tell she's led you to the Cheerios lounge. It's bigger than the teachers lounge and has a cappuccino maker and – you gasp – a slushie machine. You have a horrible fleeting thought that she's brought you here to land the final blow; there must be some humiliation waiting for you here that the illustrious head cheerleader has devised.

You wait for it, but the only thing that happens is Quinn gently rubbing the back of your hand with her thumb. Your eyebrows furrow and you look down, confused. And then she's pulling you again, and you have no choice but to fall into her arms.