Well, Davit thought it was the end. He'd somehow single-handedly murdered every human being on the planet.
But there were still other animals. Reptiles and amphibians and (some) mammals and... birds. And one of those birds, Davit discovered, was his soulmate.
Davette. He thought of her name with such admiration it made his shriveled heart begin to circulate with blood again. Every time he peeked at her, she was staring right back and flirtatiously fluffing her mahogany plumage. And of course, Davette's most irresistible feature was her eyes.
Reds, yellows, and oranges danced vibrantly in her eyes, a ring of blue swimming around her pupils.
Davit would normally have wanted to steal her eyes, to feel Davette's beauty sliding down his throat. However if she was blind, Davit pondered, love would be too.
*
One breezy afternoon Davit sat atop a tree branch, contemplating what he was going to do with the rest of his life. Sociopathic hawks don't live for eternity - much to his dismay - therefore driving him to fulfill a purpose. If Davit were a forty-something-year-old man, this would be considered his mid-life crisis. Committing world-wide genocide was not fulfilling enough for this eye-craving bird.
The branch under Davit's strong talons swayed slightly, and he turned his head to observe who had joined him in his meditation. Of course, it was Davette.
And she was looking at him with those eyes. Oh holy cosmic owls, those eyes. Even after Davit wiped out every single living organism on the planet, he would never forget those fiery orbs.
"Davette?" Davit called, attempting to speak to her through telepathy.
"Yes, my love?" she answered, causing Davit's heart to flutter rapidly.
"Would you do me the honor of assisting me in killing everything?"
Davette considered his question and suddenly knew the perfect response.
"I would be delighted to... as long as we create an elite species of hawk children that can scientifically synthesize artificial eyeballs for our consumption."
***
Whence the charming couple had finished their homicide mission, they too died.
Why? Well, they killed every living organism, down to the tiniest of bacteria, which is physically impossible, thus forcing Davit and Davette to implode for creating a hole in the space-time-continuum.
Fin.
PS: this is the actual ending, I swear on my bass's life.
