Nobody's Musings

Your unfading scent

Her brain relaxed slightly, its knots coming undone as the fragrant roasted coffee beans danced their way into her nose. Without even looking, she knew that it was from the cafe from across the apartment. So visible that it is impossible to hide from it. Hope Cafe's tinkling morning bell and the accompanying coffee had once made her heart jump at the sight of it. She felt more alive then, a free and invincible woman. Now, the sight of the cafe made her turn away. It reminded her of the wounds that ached, a past never truly faded, and the pounding pain of loss.

A lone tear rolled down her cheek and landed on her duvet, making its presence felt through its colourless stain. Against the backdrop of the morning rush, Vanda had never felt more alone than today. It was not even possible for her to sleep. Yet, her eyes were closing slowly, threatening to unearth the memories she fought so hard to keep hidden.

Ary was there, waiting with her arms open and ready to welcome the five year old Vanda who stared suspiciously at her new mother. She looked small, much smaller than her real mother, but stronger and more commanding. Yet, there was a certain softness in her smile and a twinkle in her eyes that said "I'll take care of you much better than Mummy. Trust me." And so Vanda did. Mummy drove off so fast that Vanda didn't even say goodbye, her car speeding round the bend. Vanda knew, at five, she had to start over.

Ary and Vanda spent practically the whole day that day in Hope Cafe. Vanda kept asking for cakes and chocolates, and Ary would chuckle, shoving another two dollar bill into the waiter's hand.

"What's that smell, Mummy Ary?" Vanda asked, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes. It was nothing like she had smelt before. It reminded her of fresh bread and cozy mornings she had always wanted with her Old Mummy.

"It's called coffee, Vanda. The lifeline of many people in our street." said Ary, amused at the little girl who scrunched up her nose, unable to decide if she liked coffee or not. Ary sniggered at Vanda, which made the girl let out a puff of hmph, before she joined in, giggling mirthfully.

Vanda's glass rolled over the table and landed with a soft thud on the carpet below. She opened her eyes once more, glad that she had awoken before her mind decided to run amok.

Looking around, the house was more empty than it had been before she fell asleep. Where Ary had and should have been longer, Vanda felt the silence weigh on her much more.

Hope Cafe now stood at the end of the street, waiting on Vanda's rejection. Which Vanda duly did, as she shut out all the light that streamed in from the window.

If only Ary rejected death like how Vanda now rejected Hope Cafe.