Uɴsᴇɴᴛ Lᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs || Jɪᴋᴏᴏᴋ Sʜᴏʀᴛ Sᴛᴏʀʏ (Cᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇᴅ✓)

Fifth Letter : Moving on

Babe,

It's been months now.

Since your funeral, I visited your grave everyday, and every time I would break into a long sob, kneeling in front of you. The truth that you are lying among the dead is still quite hard to accept.

And it seems like everyone wants me to move on. They tell me to forget you and to go for someone else. Are they just kidding ?

Tell me Jungkook, how can I tell them that I still love you ? They won't take it as a reason, they insist me to erase you from my life.

No, they actually don't know. They don't know that I still love you, that I still love your memories.

And, you know what ? A new kid came to see your room today, but when he got to know about your suicide he refused to stay in. Then they contacted me, so I went to take your belongings before they could throw them out.

How pity they are, don't you think babe ? I don't know if they feared that your ghost would linger in there, they just don't know that how much of a good person you were when you were alive, so you wouldn't be trapped between two worlds.

And you know what ? When I stepped into your room, all the memories of you hit me like a thunderbolt. Your scent, it still lingered there. And I felt like you were next to me when your warmth was still there.

When I took a look around, nothing was changed. Your clothes were still there on the couch and bed that were thrown carelessly. I thought that everything would have been changed after the police investigated your room. But surprisingly, it was much like the same.

And now, I'm writing this sitting in your chair and wearing your warm clothes. Yes Jungkook, I moved in to your room. I don't think that anyone else would have the guts to buy this after your death. But, there's not a single reason for me to be afraid of you, is there? None.

It's better that you're not here to listen to all the gossips about you. People blame you, they criticize you. I just can't bear that.

One day when I was passing through the halls with Taehyung, a stranger said loudly " There goes the lover of a wimp. "

And, I just couldn't bear to listen to all that shit. I felt my blood boiling. Teahyung tried to pull me away from there but I spoke back. " You bullies good for nothing only knows how to look down on someone. "

And my anger only reached its peakest when they mockingly laughed back at me.

I wanted to give him some brains, but Taehyung dragged me away from there. And when we were finally away from the crowd, I broke out in to tears. Teahyung hugged me, saying " It's okay Jimin. There are shitty people like them. "

" But Tae, how could everyone take my Jungkook as a joke without even knowing what he went through ? "

And, then Taehyung told me things to calm down.

But Jungkook, I don't undersrand why this society hates us. Why do they say you were faking depression ? Why can't they keep shut even if they don't want to be a help to you?

They think you ran away from your life. They think you weren't brave enough to face what came in your way.

But only I know how you fought, not them.

Your calender, I saw it. First, I couldn't place what was the meaning of it. But then again, I understood it.

You had circled days from week to week. And instead one, all the other circles were cut off with a cross. Only the last one remained. And the day was, 23th Sunday. The day you took your own life. It remained untouched because you didn't live through that day to cross it off.

You were giving your self a goal, right ? Challenging your self to even live ? Maybe if you were a little bit open to me, I could have lend you a hand.

But no matter how hard you clashed with your own self, maybe you couldn't win it. Maybe you reached the bottom. Maybe you reached the bottom where you cannot keep things going any longer.

Even the anti-depression pills weren't enough to make you feel good or just numb.

Hearing people talk shit about you right in front of me is like seeing them murder you in front of me. How can they be so rude Jungkook ? They clearly knows how much good you've done when you were alive, but they still hold on to that one weak point of yours. And all the good you've ever done seems to be nothing in front of that one single decision you made.

This society sucks and the people in it.

I hate it here, Jungkook. I hate the people around me. Now that you aren't even by my side, I don't know what else to do.

And yes, I promise you one thing. I won't give up. I will walk up to the end of my path so that I'll be able to see you again. I will do good to others so we'll meet in heaven one day.

And Jungkook, this would be my last letter to you. But everyday, I would think about you. Stopping writing to you wouldn't mean that I've stopped loving you. Huh, it isn't even like you'll ever read these letters, right ?

But, I would still think about how we used to hold hands everyday, I would think about how I always snuggled in to you when we used to watch horror movies late at night, I would think about how you looked after me when you first taught me how to ride a cycle, I would think about the nights we gazed up at the deep sky and I would think about all the seconds I spend with you.

For them, I need to stop writing to you. They won't find out how I still swim in our memories. Everyone keeps saying that I must move on. For them, I only think of you in my head without showing it to the out side.

And for you, I'll always love you.

For you, I won't give up.

For you, I will one day come to see you.

Always yours,
Jeon Jimin.
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A/N : And tell me what you thought about this whole short story. And I'm really sorry guys if this sucks. But I've been having this idea all along that I just couldn't ignore it.