smoke off the roof - inanimate insanity baseball x nickel fanfic

part one (baseball pov)

author's note: hii this is reccomended for readers 13+ because this fanfic has mature themes (swearing, smoking, alcohol etc)
also this is set about a week after episode 11

baseball stared deep into the pond beneath him. the reflection of the moon glistened onto the water's edge, the hum of the crickets surrounding him, the slight lavender scent the pond gave off... all of baseball's surroundings plunged him deep into his thoughts. it was probably past midnight by now but by god baseball didn't care. he needed to get rid of these emotions he had about... someone pretty close to him. a friend, you could say. they'd been pretty close for a few years now but over the second season of inanimate insanity, they'd definitely gotten a lot closer than before.
everything was fine - well, everything seemed fine - up until a few weeks ago. when his friend started acting distant. started acting hostile to balloon. tried to take control of the group. he did everything to isolate himself from anyone different to him
nickel really, really did hurt suitcase. he's been an asshole to her and balloon.

so why does my head still feel warm when i think of him?

baseball checked his phone. no new messages. he looked out past the pond and tried to focus on the building across from it.
should i really go there?
oj's hotel was usually a vibrant orange, but the night's shadows were a blanket over the building. knowing nickel, he'd probably still be awake by now. but a small part of him wishes he wasn't.
shit. i need to talk to him.
baseball's chest grew tighter as he considered the thought.
"fuck it." he growled and stomped off in the direction of the hotel.

-

baseball stared at the entrance of the hotel. he could hear salt and pepper loudly complaining about someone. they're probably keeping the whole hotel up... baseball sighed and knocked on the door, hearing salt sigh very vocally in the distance as a response. her footsteps got louder and louder until she finally reached the door.
"what?" she didn't even bother to look at baseball. the smell of alcohol slapped baseball right in the face as he tried to fight the urge to gag.
"jeez sorry, i just came to see someone. do you mind if i come in?" baseball huffed. salt lifted her eyes from her phone to smile, chuckle a bit and give him a weird look.
"oh... enjoy the hookup or whatever." salt's smile turned into a smirk as she heard pepper laugh from behind her. baseball was going to retaliate by saying something about her and oj, but he didn't want to start a fight with a couple of drunk girls. he ignored the comment and marched right into the hotel.
"oh if you want your lover boy by the way, he's probably on the roof sulking by himse-" before she could finish, pepper rushed off to the direction of the bathroom. baseball sighed as he started to climb the stairs.
as he was making his way to the roof, baseball started to slow down. why was he even doing this? nickel probably doesn't want to face him for an eternity, especially after that rough elimination.
to think you could just walk up to nickel after everything that happened and expect everything would be alright? god, how childish.
but even if baseball slowed down as slow as possible, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself.
eventually he found himself reaching the top of the building. baseball looked around the roof, but couldn't see him. maybe he did fall asleep after all...

"i know you're here baseball. your footsteps are as loud as a fucking elephant's." the familiar raspy voice filled the air. and there he was, sitting right on the edge of the hotel. nickel didn't look back at him, he just focused on lighting his cigarette. baseball chuckled a bit.
"am i really that loud? he questioned. nickel took a large hit from his dart.
"i could prolly recognise your footsteps from miles away. also i knew something was up when i heard salt and pepper go quiet for a minute." nickel laughed back. baseball walked down to sit next to him, letting his legs dangle down the side of the building. he looked out over the island, admiring the sights for a second. the colourful hills contrasted well with the dark purple sky. baseball started to make small talk with his old friend, avoiding the elephant in the room.
"is oj's hotel really five star?" baseball looked at nickel. it looked like he'd aged a bit, despite him only being eliminated about a week ago. even with the night being dark, he could tell that nickel's eyebags had gotten worse. his smell stung highly of tobacco, which wasn't foreign to baseball - he's been smoking since the second season started - but it just seemed a lot heavier.
"it's just great here. the walls are so thin i can hear every little grunt trophy makes when he works out in his room." nickel coughed a bit, then continued listing off reasons why oj is a 'horrible hotel owner and needs the place to be knocked down'.
after what seemed like an hour or two of just catching up, the pair fell silent. the bittersweet mood of the conversation dropped back to how it felt just before they started talking. it felt... unnatural. like this silence was a pivotal moment in their friendship. baseball breathed in.
"i-"
"listen i know what you're about to say." nickel butted in, turning to look baseball directly in the eyes. nickel's stare pierced through him, making baseball's head feel fuzzy again.
no- this is is serious. i cant be getting myself psyched over a stupid boycrush. baseball tried to get the thoughts out of his head before nickel started talking again, but it was no use.
"im an asshole, im heartless, i fucked over our alliance and i treated suitcase and balloon like animals. i get it, im a monster. so if you've come to ask me why, you have your answer." nickel glared at baseball, his voice seeming raspier and louder than his normal tone. baseball sighed deeply, thinking about what to say.
"nickel, i don't think any of those things. the things you did hurt them, god, of course it hurt them but that's not-" nickel stood up, chucking his cigarette packet to the ground.
"i get it! i know im shitty, nothings going to change. this is how i'm wired, baseball." nickel was practically yelling at this point.
"and jesus christ - even after all these years you still don't see who i am? i've fucked up everything these past few years, and here i am messing up this friendship right now. you're so thick-minded that you can't seem to grasp that i'm a terrible person." nickel took a deep breath, and started to walk away from baseball.
"you're fucking clueless." nickel scoffed and headed for the stairs. baseball stood there, as still as a statue having no clue what to say. he could only mutter a few words before nickel left.
"i- i love you."
nickel stopped in his tracks. he didn't look back. he stood as still as baseball was standing,
"and- and i don't care if you were shitty and i don't care if you hurt me in the process because i. i cant stop thinking about you." baseball felt dizzy. all the energy he had left in him must have escaped as his legs felt weak. his heart was beating a million times a minute. it really felt like he was dying.
"as stupid as i must seem, i see good in you nickel. you can change. i want to help you change." baseball breathed. it felt like he was losing his breath.
nickel turned around, avoiding eye contact with baseball. the cold breeze of the night finally got to baseball as he started shivering.
"fuck - i don't even know if you're gay or if you even like me back but... i have nothing else to say. i love you nickel. i want to grow with you. i'll always be here for you." baseball exhaled. the world felt like it was crumbling beneath him. everything felt shaky and disproportionate. after what felt like hours, nickel finally looked back at baseball.
"i wish you had said that before i got eliminated.
it's over. you can't change me
goodnight, baseball."