It’s been almost a month since I’ve seen Taylor, since I told her I loved her, since she turned out to be a lying bitch. Once she left, I distanced myself from the rest of the band. I just didn’t want to be happy and I had a right to not want to be. Everyone has tried to cheer me up, but I just wanted to be alone. Lottie’s worried about me, probably thinking that I’m drinking again, which, I am. But this doesn’t mean I’m some alcoholic, because I’m not.
I walked over to the front of the bus and opened a cabinet, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Thankfully everyone was out, doing something. I walked back to my bed not bothering to grab a glass. I sat down on the bed and unscrewed the cap bringing the bottle to my lips and pouring the liquid into my mouth, enjoying the burning sensation it gives my throat.
I keep drinking from the bottle, finally getting the buzz I’ve been waiting for. I’m almost completely done with the bottle when the door swings open, I hear them all piling onto the bus, but I simply ignore them and take another swig from the bottle. Soon enough, Lottie is standing in front of me, a mixture of shock and horror washed along her face. I quickly sit up, feeling my head spin as I do so. “Lottie.” I say slurring my words slightly. Lottie doesn’t speak for a moment, tears pricked at the edges of her eyes, glancing from myself to the bottle.
“You promised Lou.” She croaked out before her face was streaming with tears. I stood up, trying not to fall back onto the bed and stumbled towards her, I tried to wrap my arms around her but she put her hands up and smacked my arms away. “No, don’t touch me!” Lottie said sternly.
“Lottie, I didn’t mean to,” I started say, but couldn’t find the words to say to her.
“You’re never going to quit are you?!” Lottie said raising her voice, “You’re just going to keep drinking. No matter how much mom cries over it, no matter how much Harry, Zayn, Niall, or Liam try and be there for their best mate, no matter how much your fans give you hell about it, no matter how much you hurt me.” She said with her voice cracking, “You won’t stop; you’ll just sit there and drink your life away.” She said before turning on here heel, brushing past the boys who happened to be standing at the door.
“I’ll go get her.” Niall sighed and turned on his heel also. I felt so many different emotions wash over me, anger, sadness, pain. I felt tears running down my cheeks. Liam looked at the door and then at me, his whole face showed disgust.
“Look what you did!” Liam shouted. “You made your own sister hate you, are you happy now?!” I tried to speak, but I was so drunk, and I just wanted to sleep forgetting about this whole day.
“Liam, just let him go to sleep, he may not even remember this in the morning.” Harry sighed, running his fingers through his curls. Liam tore his gaze from me and to Harry. Liam sighed and nodded, then turned back to me.
“Don’t think we won’t finish this tomorrow.” He said before walking away and out of the bus, when the tour opened I could hear Lottie sobbing, and my face fell completely. Harry looked at me and sighed.
“Go to bed mate, you look like hell, plus we have a long day tomorrow.” Harry said to me. I nodded and he grabbed the bottle from the floor, he didn’t say anything, simply walked out of the door leaving me alone. I pulled on my hair and fell back onto my bed. I groaned before closing my eyes and falling into a restless sleep.
***
“Wake up.” Harry said shaking me. I groaned and turned to him, my head hurt like hell but I didn’t try falling back asleep. Harry didn’t say anything to me, just turned around and walked out of the room. I rubbed my hands over my face and groaned as I remembered the events of last night. I really hurt my band mates, but more importantly, I hurt Lottie.
I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom; I washed my face and quickly shaved. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I bumped into Lottie. She quickly looked away from me and walked in the other direction. My heart sunk a little knowing that I hurt her, a lot. I walked back to my bed and grabbed my clothes, quickly getting dressed. Then I walked over to the rest of the group, once I walked over to them, you could feel the whole mood shift. Which made me feel shitter, to say the least.
“We have to do a meet and greet, then we have an interview and a concert.” Liam said, his face showing no emotion. I simply nodded and grabbed something to eat. We all sat around, not talking, not looking at each other. I opened my mouth to speak, but Lottie’s phone started ringing.
“Hello?” “Oh, hi mum.” “Please mum.” “I don’t want to mum. He’s an adult; he’s old enough to make his own decisions.” “Okay mum, I love you too.” “Yes mum, I’ll tell Lou. Bye mum.” Lottie hung up the phone with a sigh.
“What were you and mum talking about?” I asked her. Lottie looked over at me and brought her knee’s to her chest.
“Last night I asked mum to go home.” She said, keeping her face blank.
“Why, would you do that?” I asked even though I knew the answer: me.
“Because Lou, you’re old enough to take care of yourself. You don’t need me to take care of you. But it doesn’t matter because I’m not allowed to leave.” She said to me. By now one by one, all of the boys were making their way out of the room. Lottie noticed and stood up to leave; I jumped up and grabbed her.
“Look Lottie, I’m sorry. I really am. Please don’t hate me.” I said biting my bottom lip. Lottie looked around and then to me, letting out a sigh.
“I don’t hate you Lou. I just hate the fact that you keep drinking, even after you promised me. I hate that you’re getting tons of hate for this, I don’t want the people to look up to you think you’re not a good role model. Because they do look up to you Lou,” She said with a sigh. “I look up to you.” She said looking down. I smiled and pulled her into a hug.
“I love you Lottie.”
“I love you too Lou.”
