Player 3 (Sequel to Love, Laura; Ayden Lee ff)

5

30.8.

The front door finally swung open, a happy Maihua entering. I flashed her a smile, which she returned. She walked around the apartment, doing the usual she does when she gets home. I sat on the couch, following her with my eyes. I waited for her to notice how clean everything was, but she didn't seem to be even close to realizing.

After a few minutes she sat down on the couch, pulling me into her shoulder and watching the tv.

"Can we watch something else? I'm tired of Minecraft" she whined grabbing the remote.

"Wait! It's a new video, can I at least finish it?" I asked, moving my hand over hers.

"Don't yell at me" she said completely seriously, but laughing it off right after. "Fine"

I smiled and moved my hand away, keeping my eyes on the new Dream video. After ten minutes it was finally over and Maihua was shuffling through YouTube recommended, finding something to watch. Here and there I cut in and recommend a video which she just scrolled over, saying it's not interesting.

"Have you noticed anything by the way?" I finally asked, hoping she wouldn't need more help with figuring it out. She looked down at me and studied my face, then my hair and then my body. My smile turned into a pout.

"No, not on me. I cleaned the apartment" I explained, gesturing around me with one hand.

"Oh. Nice" she replied and continued to shuffle through YouTube. I felt disappointed.

"I spent four hours on making this place clean for me and for you, it would make me feel much better if you showed at least a little more appreciation" I exclaimed. She looked down at me again with a slightly sorry expression.

"Yeah of course, I'm sorry. I just feel a little tired. Thank you" she replied. I smiled and nodded.

"Get some rest. I'll just be here watching tv"

She nodded and stood up. With a few dragged out steps towards the bedroom, the door closed and I was alone once again. My smile was replaced with a slight pout. Trying to distract myself from the sadness I was feeling, I turned on a random video from one of my online friends. I wish I could say it helped.

—

After a few hours I finally got up from the couch. With a smile on my face I made my way to our bedroom. As soon as I stepped in my eye caught Maihuas phone. More specifically the app she had opened, iMessages. I couldn't see the contact I did see that it was four or five letters and a heart emoji of some sort. She quickly closed the app when she noticed me.

"Hey baby" she said, stretching her arms out, inviting me next to her. I smiled and sat down on the bed by her. While she opened tik tok on her phone I buried my head in her neck and watched her screen for a little while before turning my head more towards her and slowly drifting off to sleep.

—

I woke up feeling cold. Her arms were no longer around me, I could tell before I even opened my eyes. I looked around the bed to see if she had just turned around, but she wasn't there. I listened for a second trying to figure out where in the flat she was but after a solid few minutes, I heard nothing.

I started feeling lonely. I missed her. Like a lot. I felt like I needed her arms around me to feel safe, but I couldn't do that as she was nowhere to be found.

I got up and dragged my feet to the bathroom. Slowly I sat down on the toilet and looked around. The room felt empty and as if it stretched on for infinity, even though it was pretty cramped.

My eyes traveled to the small cabinet on the wall. I knew what was inside, I could picture it stuck between the wall and a few boxes of cutips and stuff like that.

TW // self harm, there's another warning when it ends

I could remember every detail of the small blade, despite not using it in months.

I got up and walked to the cabinet. It creaked open as the old screws struggled to keep the mirror stuck to it. Reaching behind the black box of cutips I felt the wooden handle caress my fingertips. I closed my eyes and smiled, already feeling comforted. I pulled it out and admired the shiny silver blade.

Immediately, I pressed it against my skin and dragged it gently along my forearm. The scratching felt good, however not satisfying at all. So I pressed harder and drew a short line right in the middle. I smiled as blood covered it.

I mumbled the lyrics of You are my sunshine while making more lines. Tears filled my eyes, not from the physical pain but rather from how emotionally overwhelmed I felt. So much hit me at once like 'How did I just fuck my clean streak like that' and 'Why am I doing this? Nothing bad even happened'. I made a new cut for every thought until there were so many I couldn't see my actual skin in between them. Blood covered the whole side of my forearm.

I chuckled and put the knife down. I pulled out one of the shirts that were in the wash and wrapped it around my arm. I then started cleaning up the sink and the blade. I looked down and smiled as the blood soaked through the blue shirt.

Time to switch the shirt for some bandages.

TW OVER

—

I woke up to a weight shifting in the bed. I turned over, seeing someone pull the covers over them. I quickly realized it was Maihua and turned back around, going back to sleep.

—

"Baby, wake up. I have something for you" I whispered into Maihua's ear, trying to wake her up. I kissed her ear and then her cheek.

She finnaly opened her eyes. "Oh hey. What time is it?"