Just friends...? - SapnapxReader

~Chapter 20~

I got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom. I saw my back in the mirror and it looked like I was beaten. I went to my room and got some clothes, so I could shower. My legs hurting with every step. I turned on the water, I left the door unlocked in case nick had to use the bathroom since it was just one bathroom. I stood under the water for a bit. Just standing. I took deep breaths, it hurt to stand but I had to shower. I heard nick walk in and call out my name. 

"Y/n you okay?"

 "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine...." I tried my best to seem convincing but he didn't believe me. "What's wrong?" 

"Um nothing why?" 

"Come y/n, what's wrong?" i sighed, 

"My legs....they hurt really bad. it hurts to stand" Nick laughed, but i gave no respond. I didn't know why i felt like this. The sex was good, it was perfect and i love nick even though i haven't told him. I'm excited to see his "best work" right? Maybe it was too fast. Way too fast... 

Nick entered the shower with me, i didn't turn around to see him. I just kept standing under the water. Nick went behind me and lightly pulled my head back onto his chest. He put his arms around my shoulders not touching my breasts. My body felt a little weak so i relaxed a bit. Putting all my weight on him. He knew i wasn't okay.

"Y/n?"

"mmh?"

"What wrong?"

"nothing just sleepy you know?"

"oh okay, I saw your back it looks like you were beaten" he laughed

"ahh heh" I gave a small faint laugh

"um..."

"what?"

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" 

"huh?! what! no! why do you ask that?"

"oh I just thought that you were having second thoughts"

"no, I'm not. are you?" 

he was quiet for a bit, i quickly lifted my head and said "I'm going to shower now" 

I kept looking at the floor. 

"Uh oh okay, well i wanna shower too" He placed his hand on my hip slowly going down. 

"no, not right now" i put my head under the water and grabbed my shampoo. Washing my hair and washing my body. It hurt to touch my legs at all. I wasn't use to him and his ding dong.

I wasn't use to his sex overall. He took his shower at the same time. Us not talking.

*nick thinking* What the hell happened? Did i fuck up? Did I do too much? Was it too fast? Was i too rough? I mean her back and legs are covered in hickeys and bruises. I always was like this. Does she not like me anymore? i love her...but heather. *end of nicks thinking*

I finished showering and got out of the shower, nick finishing up. I grabbed my towel and walked over to my room. Dried off my legs and arms. My body and using my shirt that i last wore to dry my hair since the towel is more rougher. I started to put on my underwear. Putting on some sweats and trying to clip my bra but I was struggling. 

Nick walked in with a towel covering his lower half. He saw me struggling and clip for me. I smiled and said thank you. I didn't care about my bruises and such anymore. Why was he quiet when I asked if he had second thoughts? God, I hate relationships. I mean i don't hate them, just they're so complicated.

 I laid in bed after my shower. On my phone, looking on Twitter. Looking at Tommy's dumb tweets and laughing at the memes that the fandom made. I checked my DMS now and then. I loved seeing the messages of people telling me that i saved their life's and that I'm doing great. They motivated me to do better and to never stop streaming. 

I would message them back saying thank you and telling them to stay strong. And that i love them and care about them. Everyone needs to hear that we care for them and love them. If they would message me that they are doing bad then i would give advice and such. I really cared for my fans. Nick was next to me watching Netflix on the tv. 

Me still thinking about why was he quiet when I asked. I actually love him. I haven't told him but I care and love him. I think he's the one. The one person who makes me feel so happy and so safe. When I'm with him my mood is always brighten up. 

I want to tell him but he just moved in. We just started. He hasn't even asked me to be his girlfriend. He still hasn't. We had sex and kissed already. He didn't pop the question. We acted like a couple but it wasn't official. I'm not dumb either though, he most likely still thinking about heather.