Will you be my jerk?

#Luckyluke?!

Luke's POV

Monday mornings are so hard for me but this one is so different in so many damn ways. It 's 6 o'clock in the morning and I am right besides my cold window laying my face on the cool glass trying to make up my mind .I ve only slept for 3 hours and I know I look like a zombie even though I haven't checked myself in the mirror for days.My notebook with some of my drawings and my favorite pencils are right next to me reminding me of how much I love drawing, it's a way to express my feelings and clear my thoughts ,something I clearly need now. I haven't shown anybody my drawings because they will think I am an easy one and an breakable ,it would certainly ruin my reputation as the school's player and my football career.I am not easy I am tough and rough and a full of muscles football player but when it comes to family I am just as vulnerable as a kitten.Family is something big for me,something special because those people are the ones that I was brought up to love.

Family is the main reason that I look like a mess.Things aren't going well between my parents and I bet it's my fault.It hurts like bloody hell to know that I might be the fucking reason that my parents aren't happy.I would never be able to sleep if I knew I was the fucked up person to ruin something so strong as a family.I would never want see that pain in Becca's eyes and be responsible for it.I have done some terrible things in my small life that I am not proud of but knowing that Becca's sad because of me could break me.My parents are adults and they can handle a divorce, it might even be the best solution but Becca is a child and she needs them both even if they aren't the best parents.I know mum is going to take her away from me if they divorce and I won't be able to see Becca and spend time with her.I might be an asshole and a jerk to other girls but Becca is the one thing that I love most.More than football,myself or any other girl.

It 's almost 7 and I am brought back to reality by a message from Katy probably asking me if I could give her a ride or something.

Katycat;) :Hey Luke:) I know you are probably sleeping now but is it okay with you if you give me a lift to school because my parents are working?

LuckyLuke:Sure thing:)Just be ready at 8:15

Checking my phone made me think.This girl is been the closest girl that I ve been the recent months but with what happened the last time , things between as are complicated.When we left from the cafe she grab my hand and we went for a walk.It was freezing cold and we were walking through the dark in some sort of a secret place.She told me how special it was for her and how when her dad died she came there to clear her thoughts and feel free from the real world.It reminded me of my secret place and how I escaped from the real wold with my best friend and we were young and free.She even cried and felt embarrassed for crying in front of me so I comforted her and told her that it was fine.She was freezing so I offered to give her my black leather jacket that was flitting her small gentle figure and she hugged me to thank me. It felt so good and comfortable to have someone trusting you with some of their secrets.[PG13]When our lips touched it was strangely warm but strange.At first I thought it would be better to back of"There is a hot chick kissing you dude and you don't like it?Wtf you gay or what?!Just kiss her already"I thought to myself .So I did.I grab her waist and placed her on my laps so I could deepen the kiss.My hands were going up and down until the reached her blouse.When I was about to take it off I pushed her back and he broke apart.I saw the disappointment into her big blue eyes.She touched my skin and asked me "What's wrong?"and I couldn't answer .We remained silent for a moment and then I ask her whether she wanted to leave or not and she simply nodded.