One Million Cigarettes

One Billion Cigarettes Before -

† One †

God, please forgive me for these actions I am committing. I know in the bible it says not to be disobedient to your parents but I just want to fit in. Is it bad to say I want friends as far from religion as possible? I mean Jesus is pretty cool and all, you know forgiving us for our sins and stuff, but sometimes the people force feeding you scripture can get a little annoying. It would be nice to have some friends that are damned to hell.
Okay, that sounds horrible.
I guess you'd have to experience the surplus of religion to know what it's like. I just find it funny how sweet sinning tastes and how bitter the consequence is. I've developed a preference for mischief.
"Jesus, Daniel!"
"Claire, we're in a church."
Why am I doing this. I can't even drive yet, I'm only fifteen.
"Who's driving again?"
"I-I am." I stuttered.
Claire's deep laugh bounced of the church walls. "Private's are such pussies."
I don't even know what that is. Is she calling me a cat? I don't know, public's have their own language. We raced through the church, Daniel knocking over everything he disliked. My father is going to nail me to the cross hanging in this church when he finds out I did this. Finally we reached the church fire exit, where the funeral cars are parked. Daniel tosses me the keys and my scrawny arms scrambled to catch them. I know they're laughing at me for that but oh well, they always laugh at me.
I quickly unlock the car and Daniel and Claire slip into the vehicle. I ran over to the drivers side and plopped myself down on the tan leather seats. The whole car smelt like an old woman.
"Go church boy! Go!"
I shoved the keys into the ignition and slammed on whatever was beneath my feet. We lunged forward scraping the bumper on the concrete slab in front, almost driving into the wall.
"You have to put it in reverse, private!"
"Reverse, right. Reverse?" I asked.
"Dammit church boy." Yelled Daniel as he pulled the stick shift down putting us in reverse and we backed out of the church parking lot.
Although we ran into a couple buildings and signs on the way, I ended up getting the hang of it. My sweaty palms clung onto the wheel for dear life and I nervously watched the speedometer.
"I'm so excited for this," Said Claire. "No one's ever shown up to a rock concert in a funeral car."
"No ones ever smoked in one either." Mumbled Daniel as he popped a cigarette into his mouth, holding it with his yellow stained teeth as he lit the end of it. I sighed at the thought of how much trouble I'm in.
"Here, church boy, have a smoke." Daniel offered plucking the cigarette from his teeth as he let a cloud of chemicals out of his mouth.
"Um, no thank you, not while I'm driving." I reasoned. Daniel shrugged popping the cancer-on-a-stick back in his mouth. "Suit yourself."
The ride was quiet for a little except for Daniel's occasional coughs. I know they rule of the road is to focus but how can I. I'm stealing my church's funeral car and driving it to a rock concert when I'm not old enough to drive. Not only that but I am in the car with Mobile, Alabama's most wanted juvenile delinquents. Oh, God could I get arrested for this?
My mind was even more distracted as Daniel climbed over the leather seats to make out with Claire. Daniel and Claire are so in love, I mean they must be, they have sex like every weekend. I feel like "real" sex is reserved for the person you're meant to love. You can have sex with anyone in the world but I think the actual pleasure part doesn't happen unless you're with the one true person you love.
So I wonder if that's what Daniel and Claire feel. I wonder what the feelings like. I also wonder why God put such amounts of testosterone in men to the point where we can't go a day without thinking about sex, and then make it a sin to do it before marriage.
If I had to sin in such a manor it would be with Sophia May. Not because she's got nice tits or whatever the stereotype for men is, just because she's a beautiful person with good morals. I mean she's got nice tits too but I wouldn't have sex with her for that. I mean, maybe a little because of that.
She's just got these beautiful eyes and this amazing smile. Yes, I would sin with Sophia May. I wonder if she'd sin with-
"Daniel!"
"Come on Clair, we haven't done it in like a week."
"Um, guys, can we like, not have sex in the funeral car," I said nervously. "Dead people kind of lay here."
"That makes it more fun."
"Daniel!" Yelled Claire as he pulled her shirt down.
"We'll make church boy look away, babe." He said.
"Hey!" I yelled causing their heads to snap up. "No sex in the G-God damn car, okay?"
Daniel rose from Claire's bare chest and grabbed me by my collar forcing me to look at him. "Don't ever tell me what to do, private." It was Claire's sheer scream that caused him to let go. The jet black funeral car barreled into traffic. The swerves and horns of other cars surrounded us. I quickly clung onto the wheel of the car and swung us away from the traffic and straight into a tree. I swung forward, smacking my head onto the wheel and Daniel and Claire flung up to front seat, Claire's boobs flying every where.
"Claire you slut, pull your shirt up."
"You pulled it down, dick head." She said smacking him.
"No. No. No, no, no, no." I repeated frantically trying to unbuckle my seatbelt.
"Dude," Said Daniel. "You're screwed."

Right he was

"Aiden James Linston." Said my father. "How could you do such a thing."
My mother sobbed profusely into a handkerchief while my father scolded me. "We didn't raise you like this." Cried my mother.
"Yes you did, you've literally taken care of me my whole life and here I am." I said to them as I took a loaf of bread out of the cabinet.
"You crashed a church car. Property of my church. Do you know how long it's going to take for me to pay that off?" Asked my father.
"No, nor do I care." I said flatly as I carelessly made myself a sandwich."
"Aiden!" Yelled my mother.
"It's those burn out, public school kids, Marge. They're influencing him to do bad things. Probably sacrificing him to satan as we speak." My father said.
I slammed down my sandwich before I spoke, "First off they're not burn outs, they're good people that make dumb choices. Second, no one is sacrificing anyone to satan." I reasoned. "They're atheists, anyways."
"Atheists!" My father yelled. "Those idiots think monkeys transform into people and then say God isn't real."
"What, they're idiots because they don't believe in what you believe?" I said as I slowly became more infuriated at the insult of these kids I'm not even friends with.
"Don't defend them!" Commanded my father.
"No, hell with you, I'll defend what I want to defend." With that I walked out of the kitchen and stormed up to my room, slamming the door behind me. this causing my mother to cry even louder.
It was then I realized how much my hands were shaking. My heart was pounding out of my chest. Never have I ever stood up for myself, and God did it feel good to disobey. My father is a homophobic, racist, close-minded man with too many opinions. He makes all the rules and makes all my choices for me, I'm surprised he didn't see a rebellion from me coming sooner. He's even arranged me to marry a girl in our church who isn't Sophia May. If I wasn't so damn nervous about everything I would try to win her over, but then again I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend.
I mean she's so beautiful you can't blame her for having one. Besides, she wouldn't want a scrawny, average looking kid like me. No, she deserves so much better. Someone that beautiful shouldn't be with someone so...ugly. I glanced over into my mirror and looked at myself. I looked like a skeleton. No matter how much I eat or sit in the sun, I'm always pale and skinny.
Ugly uneven strands of hair covered my stupid brown eyes. My t-shirt and basketball shorts hung onto me as if they were twenty sizes too big. Sophia May doesn't deserve this, but I deserve someone who wouldn't care about what I look like, does Sophia care? I've never spoken a word to her but I feel like I know her more than anyone.
"Aiden, get packing." Said my father, peaking his head into my room.
"Woah, what? Why?" I said rising from my bed.
"Well," My father started. "You're going to good ol', Christian Boarding School." My heart sunk to the ground. "Pack warm."