Dear Diary.

Monday, October 5, 2020

Hey guys! This is based on my school life at the moment. Starting on Monday, October 5, 2020. I will be writing here like it's a diary I keep for school. So here is some personal school things I really don't mind sharing.

Dear Diary...
It is 3:06 Pm, and we are in a line at Starbucks, like we do every Monday. I hate school, especially without my girlfriend. I realize she's my positivity. She's funny, smart, Cool, and above all, HAWT.

Well, I don't mean she's a literal model or celebrity, or a girl made of silicone, and stuffed chests with short skirts, and almost no shirt at all. Now, wearing these kind of clothes either means your confident. And I'm not saying, wear a bra and booty shorts to school to get called a slut! I mean, don't wear something that is not you, or makes you uncomfortable. If you dress like what society calls a slut, and you're not digging the attention, then don't stop wearing it, unless, of course, they steal all of your confidence, or...personality...? I really don't know, because of sexual abuse, and rape at a young age, I have drained of confidence. First week of school, lets talk about Jordan. Of course. Jordan

The total dick of the school. But for some reason mainly only towards girls, because they get pissed and shit that makes you think they're turning into a volcano, thats boiling up all the magma or whatever you call it and then just exploding with cuss words, and name calling, Karens threatening Jordan to get him expelled because they're cheerleaders, and they are the teacher's pet. Well. Not me. Hi I'm Rachel, and my life? It's kinda crazy.

Just kidding, but seriously. He complained the first day of school,
"Why aren't you wearing shorts or skirts or a fancy top? How come you cut your hair? Was it long?" And stuff like that. But then, in the middle of reviewing verbs and nouns, pronouns and adverbs. Stuff like that, Jordan says, "Hey, wanna see a magic trick?" A turn around and shrug. So he pulls back his sleeve to cover his supposedly dominant hand, and wiping the most evil grin I would have ever seen. And I knew that was an uh-oh. He flips me off and waits for me to attack him with "Miss Karen of Jordan" instead I really just sat there almost about to grin and say, "Are you expecting me to say something back?" He seemed pretty shocked and he just laughs and looks at his friend. I like to call his friend "mister I don't know your name but you're in every single class I am in"
Mr. Baldie, or LA teacher sort of stared at us. I turned around and when he looked away, Jordan asked, "Why aren't you like other girls? Like all they do is yell at me and shit." I actually can take a picture, I sort of just quickly scribbled "I'm not like other girls" on a page in this fancy pink notebook I have. Him and his friends started calling me "Anti-Karen" and I get along fine with them. I've played Uno in Literacy with him and is LOUD ass friends, but I was more the quiet calm one. I like working on my own, handling my own problems. And I see the difference. Fifth grade, most precious years of my entire life. And I will cherish them as if I'm a thief, that stole something more valuable than humans. Actually, Fifth grade being my favorite, is thanks to my current girlfriend. The most precious year was caused by something in my case more valuable than my own life. Some people think I'm crazy for saying this. But I feel like if I make new friends, talk to new people, and even try to meet anyone, I'm going to shut her out without noticing.

She's been in the same school district since 3rd grade, so she's making friends, and there, she's happier than I EVER am at the moment. You see me walking down the halls, all you see is a shadow of a girl in an "emo" phase. Thats why people avoid me because I look like a bully, But today I took these pills, ADHD pills, I was energetic today, and I gained one friend. But let me tell you this.

I. HATE. TALKING.

I am more introverted, or thats what I like to show. Now, If you know me, I'm going to be the most talkative person you'll meet. But I like to appear "mute" or like I just don't want to talk to anyone. And thats worked, just not for the people who see my loneliness, or pain. Now, I show it not for attention, what works is when the kids see your pain, just don't know how to talk about it, or feel like it's wasting their time.