I can't drown it out, I can't drown out my gut yelling at me twisting my insides. My brain always thinks the worst in this it's always , you'll never be good enough, everyone's staring, they aren't answering because they are ignoring you, you'll never have more than 1 friend, they are all staring, you look horrible everyone will bully you and laugh, and why did you say that. Worst of all my huge heart takes in more than it should it feels as if I have to please everyone and make everyone happy and glee, but I'm bad at that I'm awkward, sensitive, gullible... I spend days with that feeling in my gut the pain I have to handle no one to speak to about these horrid emotions pushing harder and harder I know one day I'll crack I'll push myself to hard and end up hurting someone I must hide these feelings as long as I can crying isn't enough to rid of these thoughts I have thought of hurting myself but then I remember that it's stupid hurt myself for this wow your weak and then I wouldn't do it I will never give in.. it hurts being alone I trust no one with these thought my tears feel like air gently slipping down my face the pain worsens by the second I'm born to die I disappoint everyone including myself what is there to do... nothing. No matter how short I cut my hair I will never be who I want to be. My separated parents pushing to choose one or the other. I just want to feel loved I'm alone in this void of pain crying endlessly love doesn't exist in my world no matter how many times someone says they love me i still won't feel loved...
