Just skip this if you dont wanna see my vent.
I'm sorry (actually fucking not) , but sometimes I hate my parents. Most of the time, really. They don't give a flying fuck about my mental health. I shown multiple symptoms of depression and still do, but guess what they said? Guess fucking WHAT THEY FUCKING SAID. "Its normal, its stupid, it's a joke, you'll get over it, it's all in your head, you're the one who chooses to feel like this." NO IM NOT. IM FUCKING NOT. YOU THINK I WANT TO BE SAD? YOU THINK EVERY DAY I WANT TO DIE MORE AND MORE, AND ITS MY CHOICE? MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME FOR ONCE. THATS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. YOU THINK ITS MY CHOICE THAT EVERY DAY IN SCHOOL I WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND CRY? I HAVE NO WAY TO GET MY ANGER OUT SO I HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON MYSELF. I FEEL LIKE STABBING MYSELF EVERY TIME YOU FAT SHAME ME, EVERY TIME YOU INSULT ME, EVERY TIME YOU THINK YOURE RIGHT BECAUSE YOURE FUCKING OLDER. YOU DONY KNOW EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOURE OLDER. YOU HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A 5 YEAR OLD CHILD THROWING A TANTRUM. YOU THROW SHIT AT ME, YOU PUNCH ME, SLAP ME, JUST TO TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT BECAUSE ITS MY FAULT? I GUESS ITS MY FAULT WHY WE HAVE A PANDEMIC, WHY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DIE EVERY FEW SECONDS, WHY AMERICA IS SO FUCKING CORRUPT. I DONT NEED YOUR HARMFUL WORDS. I TELL YOU TO STOP, TO LET ME GET MY WAY FOR ONCE, AND YOU DONT LISTEN BECAUSE YOURE AN ADULT? I CANT WAIT UNTIL IM 18 SO I CAN MOVE OUT AND NEVER FUCKING COME BACK. I DONT NEED YOU CALLING MY FRIENDS SLURS EVERY SECOND BECAUSE THEY ARE LGBT. MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT UP FOR ONCE? WHERE DO I GET TO TAKE MY SADNESS AND ANGER OUT THAT IVE BEEN BOTTLING UP SINCE I WAS EIGHT? I GET IN TROUBLE JUST FOR SPEAKING UP. I SHOULDN'T BE SCARED OF MY OWN PARENTS. MY OWN PARRNTS SHOULDN'T GASLIGHT ME. MY OWN PARENTS SHOULD LOVE ME, AND EVERY TIME YOU SAY YOU DO, YOU LIE. IF THIS IS LOVE, YOU HATING ME AND INSULTING ME EVERY DAY, IF THIS IS FUCKING LOVE, I DONT WANT IT. I DONT WANT TO FEEL IT EVER AGAIN. YOU HATE ME. IM SO SICK OF YOU. YOURE WHY I WANT TO DIE . YOURE WHY I HATE MYSELF. BUT BECAUSE YOURE OLDER THAN ME, ITS MY FAULT. THANKS A LOT FUCKER.
-shazzy
