𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

I hurt, a lot | 1

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ- 712

!ᴛᴡ!
sᴇʟғ ʜᴀʀᴍ
ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ
sᴇʟғ ʜᴀᴛᴇ
sᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴀʟ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs
ᴀɴᴏʀᴇxɪᴀ

——————————————————————

Harry dug the knife into his flesh.

One. For being worthless.

Two. For being stupid.'

Three. For being you.

Four. No one likes you.

Five. You're nothing.

Six. You never will be.

Seven. You deserve this.

Eight. I just want to die.

Nine. You don't deserve to live.

Ten. You deserve this pain.

Eleven. All of it.

He pulled back and looked at his wrist.

Shit.

He went to the bathroom to wash all the blood off and soothe the cuts, he wrapped his wrist up and slowly ambled towards his bed. He collapsed back onto his 4-poster.

As soon as he did, the thoughts started swallowing him up again.

What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you do this? You deserve every bad thing that happens to you. No one likes you. No one will ever love you.

He sat up on his bed, he grazed his fingertips over the bandage. He felt so alone, so worthless, so useless, he felt so stupid, he felt . . . like nothing.

He didn't cry, he couldn't.

He was too numb.

——————————————————————

Harry sat down at the Gryffindor Table, the usual fake smile attached to his face. He greeted his friend and put some food on his plate. You don't deserve to eat.

He hadn't eaten in a long time.

He was kind of hungry, but he didn't deserve it, once again he pushed his plate to the side . . . and no one noticed.

The Great Hall doors opened and there stood none other than Draco Malfoy, looking exceptionally good. What?

Harry turned back to his food, he drifted off into his thoughts.

Why do my friends not care about me? No one does, but I thought they did. Can't they see me hurting? Can't they see I'm in so much pain? Can't they see the mess right in front of them?

"Ugh, prick." Ron said, rolling his eyes at the Slytherin.

Does anyone care? Or are you just as useless as you feel?

Harry got up quickly, though no one noticed. He made his way to the doors, still no one noticed. Except for someone he was hoping wouldn't, Draco Malfoy.

He yanked open the doors and walked out quickly, his arm itched. He ran to the bathroom and slumped against the wall, he pulled out his old pocket knife.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

"Harry!"

Eighteen.

What?

He yanked his head up to see Malfoy standing in the doorway, he quickly put the knife behind his back. He covered his wrist with his robes and stood up, he was so dizzy he collapsed right back down.

"Harry, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah I'm . . . fine." he said, his voice breaking in between words. Of course Draco would be here, right when he was at his worst. He saw just how much of a wreck he was, Merlin.

"I know you're not." Draco said.

Harry took a shaky breath in. "No, I'm not." he let a tear run down his face.

"Harry, please, look at me,"

Harry looked up into his beautiful eyes.

"Please, don't ever do this to yourself again," he said. "Please."

Harry couldn't help it now, he was crying, a lot. Draco pulled him closer, Harry put his head on Draco's chest and cried. "Why am I not good enough?" Harry asked himself quietly. "I'm trying so hard." he took another shaky breath in. "What's wrong with me?"

"Harry, you're the most spectacular person I have ever met, you're nice, sweet, funny, and so much more. You're worth everything. There are many people that care about you. You are enough."

His eyes widened, he hadn't realized he had said that out loud. His grip on Draco's robes tightened as he cried, he was shaking as the tears wet Draco's sweater. He just let all of his feelings out in front of him, but he was still there, so that had to be a good sign, right?

No, he doesn't love you. No one ever will.

"I-I'm j-just . . . lost." Harry whispered.

"We all are at some point in our lives, but someone or something will always be there to show you the path again. The right way home."