I Am Not Here Anymore

The Unwilling Decision Of Life

My heartbeat stopped, I don't know what came over me that I wiped my face and opened the door. Before I could ask or say something he said,"Hey Vanya, how you've been. Look I am sorry. Can I come in?" I was bewildered at his words.😮

I nodded and....
We were sitting on the sofa facing each other. He took my hand and said,"Vanya, don't do this to me. I can not tolerate it anymore. Please tell me what mistake I have made."

His dark brown eyes looked at me😟, I instantly looked down and replied, "What did I do to you and.... how many times... Do I need to tell you that you have done nothing."

I was nervously looking here and there. This time he got serious and said, "Don't lie. To whom are you lying? To me or to yourself? I am not that mad that I will believe your words that you simply begin to hate me, tell the truth.🧐"

I bit my lower lip with my teeth, my heart apologised him a hundred times, and unwillingly I made the darkest decision and said,"Look Arush there is nothing to lie. The truth is that I don't want to be your best friend anymore. I want to be free, I am tired of talking to you about the boring things, I don't hate you but I also don't like you. You are not of my type, try to understand me and please forget me forever, I would be grateful to you.😒"

Arush gave a weird glance,"Do I look boring. What's boring in me, you only said you like people who care about others, you said that you love the inner beauty of people and don't care about their outer appearances, didn't you🤨?"

"I did. But that was years ago, now we have grown up, we are no more those little teens. I now like people who are rich, handsome. I want to live a luxurious life, I cannot just simply lead a normal life. Look at me, I am beautiful, intelligent which boy is not gonna like me. Just try your chance on another girl. I don't even think that any girl is ever gonna befriend or like you.😏"

He looked angry now I was glad that my words are at least effecting him.

"How can you say that no girl is ever gonna like me. Oh you have changed a lot! I will definitely find a one with a beautiful heart not just with nice face like you."

"Ooh! So, are you really gonna find one?"

He replied angrily,"Within 10 days! One with a beautiful soul who will love my heart not my looks. Its a Challenge!😠"

I smiled, "Accepted let's see in 10 days. You may go now." I spoke pointing towards the main door.👉

He stood and moved towards the door, turned back and threw something at me and went away. I looked at it and tears rolled down my cheeks,😢 they were the friendship bands I gave him this year and the very first year we met.

I closed the door and went in my bed, crying bitterly, tightly holding the bands in my hand. I sat weeping and coughing.🤧 I breath deeply and took my medicines from the side table.

After sometime:
I was lying in my bed thinking about today. I was happy that finally my plan worked and he hates me now. But from inside my heart and my soul was crying hysterically with the thought that we are separated forever.😭

"The inseperable..." Sniffs,"Are separated forever... Why God, why us in all of the people?🥺" My night went in the quiet moan and the sad morning came over.

I woke up,sniffed, wiped my flushed face and looked at the clock. It was 9am!

"9am Oh my god! I have never been sleeping this late.😲 Ah my head aches and I still feel drowsy. I don't wanna go out and face him, I am... scared."😣

Suddenly I heard the doorbell ringing. I washed my face and opened the door and saw Aisha waiting for me...
She asked, "Vani, were you still sleeping, you're face looks pale like you've been crying the whole night!"

I replied sadly,"Ashu, my plan succeeded."

She gave me a confused look.🤨

I continued,"We finally broke our friendship or whatever it was, yesterday."

"Oh Vanya, I feel so sorry for you, do you really think you are doing the right thing?" And she hugged me.

"Yep I am doing the right thing. I can't let him happen anything just for my few days pleasure."

She cried,"Don't say like that, for God's sake Vanya. Nothing will happen to you."

I smiled at her,"It's okay. Let me get ready then we will go for a movie. Fine?"

She smiled, "Great idea. I should wear something better. Meet you in the park."
Saying this she went and I also closed the door. We got ready and met in the park.

While we were going in the mall, my eyes went on a cafeteria. I saw Arush sitting there with a girl. It was Anna. She was one of our friends, we have always known that she liked Arush. But I was confused, may be he was just talking with her or😞.... I recalled his words. Oh!

I went with Aisha, we spent great time eating,shopping and watching the movie.
We came back at my home and sat talking about the old school and college days. How good they were, the Best.😌

My head began paining with noise from neighborhood. "Have you taken your medicines and did meditation?" Aisha asked me.

"Oh I did meditation but I forgot the medicines. What's the need of them when at last I will....." I stopped. Aisha looked at me with wet eyes.😟

"Oh forget about it I am gonna take it. First you tell, don't you like Raj, whenever you look at him you blush, don't you Ashu?" I laughed.

"Oh stop it Vanya. There is nothing between us." She looked down.😳

"Is that so? Then who gave you this bracelet?"I teased her.

A red colour flew onto her cheeks and her face flustered.😊

We went out in the evening and met all the friends, we talked and enjoyed. Arush came and said hi to all of us except me, he didn't even look at me once. He said that he was busy so he could not join us for long, but I later saw him with Anna on the other side of the park. Though he saw me a multiple times that day and after, he kept ignoring me and didn't speak me a word, all the time I see him he just turn his face away and go with Anna and talk to her..... happily.

My thoughts were right😔, he and Anna were now to be seen everywhere together,she took my place in his heart....