Dead Girls Don't Lie

Chapter II

Dear Dad,

I miss you. I'm not the same person when you're not by my side. I'm so lucky to have had you in my life at all, but I just can't help feeling like you deserved more. More time. More attention. More than I was ever able to give you.
It's scary, you know? Mom and I, we're trying. She's doing the best she can. If you had asked me a year ago if I could ever imagine a world without your perfect smile, your contagious laugh, your bright blue eyes staring right back at me, I would have said no. But here we are, right? There's no going back, and it tears me apart.
I keep looking up at the stars, thinking maybe one night I'll hear your voice ringing in my ears, teaching me about the wonders of the universe. It never happens, but it doesn't stop me from imagining it.
I think mom wants to move. You know as well as I do how much she loved you... and continues to do so. There's too much empty space and too many memories in this house. Not to mention, in this town. You really did leave an impact here, Dad. You won't have to worry about being forgotten. People keep bringing casseroles and pies. And flowers. I don't think they know mom's allergic.
Adam stopped by. You know how unemotional he is. He walked in without knocking and took a seat in your chair. He took a look around and started crying. After the funeral, he just stood there staring until I walked up to him, and he held me for what felt like hours. I'm worried about him, and Mom is too.
I can't stop thinking about you. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye... What am I supposed to do without you?
Everywhere I look, there's always something there to remind me of you. I was never the type of daughter I should have been for you. You deserved more than I gave you, and I'm so, so sorry. I'll miss you more than you'll ever know. I love you, Daddy.

With all my love,
Madeline

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Without another second of hesitation, I wiped a few tears from my eyes and gently refolded the letter, tucking it back into the neatly creased envelope it was in before I took it out again, before placing it in an empty shoebox that would soon be filled with all of my photographs and mementos of him.

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It had been exactly six months since my dad's death. Everyone knew it. Jackson included. He tried messaging me today, saying he couldn't stop thinking about me and talked about how sorry he was, especially because he knew I'd be going through a rough time today. But the fact of the matter is, he should be sorry regardless of the timing. In fact, he never should've even thought about it to begin with.

I powered my phone off before I could let the regret sink in. Despite everything, I still loved him. I knew that. He knew that. I pushed all thoughts of him away. Today would be hard enough without thinking about him.

Six months ago today, my dad, my best friend, my partner in crime, left the world that didn't deserve him.

Car accident. Drunk driver. Killed on impact.

Those are the words that stuck out to me when the officer showed up at our front door. Everything else was tuned out. It was all a blur.

Those words were repeated over and over and over again each time I laid down my head at night, hoping for a moment of sleep.

Laying in bed all day doesn't seem to be an option for how to spend the remaining thirteen hours I had until the clock stuck midnight, so I hesitantly got up and went downstairs, where I saw my mom laying on the couch.