LOST STAR

1

“Have you seen a lost star?” he unconsciously said while looking at the dark night sky, captivated by its mesmerizing beauty.

“No, why?" We are here on the rooftop to stargaze the aesthetic night which is our favorite hobby.

I was stilled by that sudden question of him but continue to answer it anyway.

I just brushed away my thoughts and keep my eyes on the stunning view of the peaceful scenery above.

While, he remained quiet, embracing the cold air which lightly oozing on our direction.

“No stars would ever fall down and get lost. It will only remain at its position, twinkling every night, and if ever it would fall, it might be the downfall of humankinds. Maybe we'll become extinct, I guess?
I proudly added and gently swift my look to him and smiled as a reminder that I intelligiently answered the question.

“You're wrong and right at the same time.”  he seriously mouthed and met my gaze at him.

It seems to have a double meaning. I frown.

I don't know what's playing on his mind right now but my heart this time involuntarily beats to its extent, overlapped its normal pace.

“Wha— he cutted me off and said those words which makes me froze at the moment without breaking our eye contact.

“You're wrong when you said that there is none, so what do I call you then? And right, because stars would never fall down and get lost—just like you for me. You only stay at my side yet here you are sparkling in my eyes. Like a star twinkling everyday and night. And baby if you'd fall, I can't catch you anymore because in the first place, I have sipped my greatest destruction when you struck your eyes into my gaze in that moment, which makes me hardly and crazily inlove with you.” he uttered, showing different emotions from his void and stoic pillars window of soul, his eyes.

“And that's my greatest oblivion to fall for a lost star whom owned by the moon. A lost star who will never be mine. A lost star that have been marked by someone that's not me. You are just lost baby and I'm not your home, I'm just only—your way back home. I'm letting you go not because I don't love you anymore but rather you found your happiness in the moon.  Unfortunately, it kills me enough inside which departed me from your arms. I am just the sun who aims you from afar and once collided with you when eclipses are done.”

But how, how can I fight or the love that already ends when it never started yet.
He didn't fight, he let me be with a man which he thinks is my happiness. The little thing he didn't know was, it is all for a fixed marriage.

He didn't knew that it was him from the very beggining,  that he is the first one I think the first time  he mumbled that question. I think it is my fault for not proving my love that makes him doubt my feelings for him.

No, he is wrong because the star lost its track, and it is her greatest downfall; it might not be her defunct but she knows inside—it no longer exists, no longer beating because her true happiness is in him. She's like a living dead waking and sleeping with no reasons for living. Compared with luna she's more free, happy and inlove in the sun during daylight. Most of all, he didn't know that the sun is also a star, he is the lost star who can't find his way back to her axis.

And that is our story, how he shines beautifully from afar not like me who are slipping farther away and just get dimmer and darker without his scorching yet comforting. light.

He is Sun that needed by many while I am only the dwarf planet Pluto that is slowly forgotten by them.

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