One Direction Preferences

#52 - Amnesia

*His P.O.V.*

Niall: I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

Y/N's shaking fingertips and racing heart as she took another sip of alcohol. And although I knew she would regret it in the morning, and probably the morning after that, I didn't stop her because she had the widest grin on her face. I mirrored her as her intoxicated lips touched my sober ones. Vodka and regret lingered on her plump lips.
The building I was staring at became smaller and smaller as the car accelerated. My bandmate pats my back and ask, "You okay, Niall?"
I pretend to be okay as I smile and nod. "I just miss her. I messed up bad, Harry."
He didn't say a word as the car kept driving down the rugged road.

Harry: Even though your friends tell me you're doing fine, are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

My fingers shook as I stated at the recent calls on my phone. All of which were outgoing, and to Y/N. I tried twice an hour on average to get to her, but she wasn't having it. Despite all the times I've tried to ring her, I haven't spoken to her since it all went down.
It was truly torturous because my mind was blowing the situation way out of proportion. What if something awful had happened to her? I felt a pang of anger towards her for not answering me, and making me think she was in danger.
I decide to dial up one of her friends, just to make sure everything was okay.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Harry? Why're you calling?" She says. Her voice is concrete and her breathing is hard. I can't understand the other words she says as I am too busy thinking about Y/N.
"How is Y/N doing? I really miss her." My voice shakes.
"She's doing fine, she has a new boyfriend now and she's really happy. Speaking of which we're all about to go for dinner, so I gotta go. Bye."
The first thing I heard after she hung up was the beep.
Next, I heard a sniffle from me as a tear fell to the floor. I couldn't help but think of her sitting under a tree, and him right beside her. And she feels lonely with him, although he is sitting next to her, stroking her hair. I miss her.

Louis: The pictures that you sent me, they're still living in my phone. I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone.

Her old text messages run through my brain as I flip a page in the novella I was trying to finish. My eyes saw the words printed on the page in a font that reminded me of darkness but I couldn't comprehend what the words meant as I had only one thing on my mind; Y/N. Her old pictures she took when I left her alone with my phone for ten seconds. Or when we were an ocean or two apart, she would send a photo of herself smiling on a beach or even her just resting at home with the caption, 'missing you! xox.'
These thoughts were hauntingly distracting. And the only way I could get myself to forget about it was to look at my old texts and reminisce. Luckily, I had saved every text she had ever sent me. Looking at them, my heart rate quickens. Closing my eyes tight, I try to picture her now. A smile that could do the impossible, painted fingernails and dainty hands inside someone's large ones. Not mine, though.
I just hope she's happy. Wherever she is, whatever she's doing. And I'm sitting here like a butthurt idiot. Hoping my phone would buzz and her name would shine off the screen.
I put the phone back down, choking back tears and shutting the book. I miss her.

Liam: It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

Nothing like a warm coffee with your mates on a cold winters day to help you forget about an ex, right? Wrong. Very wrong.
Niall had suggested it. "I know, let's go on a walk and you can get your mind off things."
"I suppose so." I breathed, my breath evident in the hard air in front of me. He patted my back, and we were off.
We were in her home city. London. A coffee shop on every corner, it seemed. And how likely was it that we end up at the same coffee shop? Pretty unlikely, but it happened anyway. As soon as I stepped foot inside the joint, my eyes gravitated towards her. Sitting in a booth, she was wearing a white beanie and a warm winter jacket. Flakes of snow were sprinkled in her hair, looking beautiful in contrast with the color of her locks. She smiled at the guy on the other side of the booth. Anger and jealousy heat my insides as I try to ignore her.
Sitting at a table while Niall orders our drinks, I keep glancing at her. Finally, her eyes flicker towards me for half a second.
Oh no. Please don't come over here. I think.
A few minutes pass, and Niall is nearly done with his drink. I haven't even touched mine. The neon lights of the signs surrounding me distract me. Glancing at her, she looks at me again and smiles. An unexpected reaction. Surely, she didn't forget about me.
Perhaps it was all just one big lie. The kisses, the little notes, the hand holding, everything. She meant none of it.
Niall's phone goes off, making me look at him. "Text from Harry," he mutters. "Gotta be back at the bus in ten minutes. Let's go." He tossed his coffee cup in the trash can. I quickly follow, but I keep my coffee close to me, even though it's ice cold now. Forget about it, Liam, you don't need her. She's completely fine without you.

Zayn: I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face, and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them...

A quiet summer day, I was enjoying, when my whole life turned around. My girlfriend of two years was sleeping, and I was sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee. Nothing could go wrong on a perfect day like this, right?
Nope.
I heard a small sniffle, and immediately looked around to see if anyone was weeping near me. No one. I get up, and go into the house where Y/N is standing in the middle of the living room, still in her pajamas, with traces of mascara lining her cheeks.
"Y/N? W-"
"I can't do this anymore, Zayn! When I'm with you, I don't feel the way I think I should feel. The butterflies in my stomach are starting to hurt. I don't feel excited and happy when I wake up to you anymore, you know?"
She pauses to regain her breath, and wipe a few tears from her eyes with her sleeve. "I don't even feel like we're dating, Zayn. I love you so much though. And, and remember when we went camping that one night? Everyone was asleep, but us, and we stayed up talking about our dreams and aspirations like we had a clue. How we'd get married and have kids, and they'd be musicians just like you. All of that was true, Zayn. My brain wants it, but my heart doesn't. All I could think of when we hug or kiss is how it should be, and not how it is." She quickly inhales, sobs a little more and I'm standing here with a blank expression on my face trying to make sense of nothing.
"For that reason, I'm leaving. I already packed my bags, and called my mom. She's on her way."
With this, she walks towards the door where a suitcase is sitting. Rolling it around mindlessly, she looks back up at me with red, bloodshot eyes that were like a tornado on your wedding day.
She fast-walks to me. "I love you. Please, keep in touch, okay?" Sighing, I kiss her where her hair parts on the top of her head. My heart is shattered. There's no way today could get any worse.
The sound of a car horn is like waking up while having an amazing dream, or like loosing the last ten pages of an intense book.
Snapping me out of my thoughts, Y/N grips her suitcase and looks at me with those eyes again. "Don't forget me." She sniffles.
"I-I won't." I say as I watch her exit through my front door.
I told her I wouldn't forget about her, and I never did. I wish I could forget about her leaving. I wish I could wake up, and she'd still be right beside me.