Prima| (Feral Aizawa)

(c) Primal play (sex related)

I'm A Primal, Here's What That Means

https://forbiddenwritings.blog/2018/02/09/im-a-primal-heres-what-that-means/

forbiddenwriter

3 years ago

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A little over a year ago, I came across something completely new to me when I made an account on Fetlife. As I created my account, one of the questions they asked for was my BDSM role. I was going to select 'Master' as I always had, but found a few different options further down the dropdown list. Each of them was listed as 'Primal', 'Primal Dom', and 'Primal sub'. In my curiosity, I went on to find out just what a Primal is, which led to the discovery that I am a Primal and prompted me to write an article all about what I found, and what makes someone a Primal. That article is now one of the top referenced articles on the subject of Primal Play, and is, by far, the most viewed page on my site.

But as I go back to find out what is being said about Primal Play, I find there's still a lot of misinformation out there. Some think of it as a type of sexual orientation, which it's not. Some think of it as just another fetish, which it's not. Others who engage in the Primal lifestyle call it a state of being, but I would prefer to think of it as a state of mind, instead. A state of being implies integrating it into your every-day life, whereas a state of mind makes it something that exists inside you, where it can be unleashed when appropriate. Of course, there are those who believe being a Primal means to be a beast among people, but Jungian psychology provides insight to the contrary.

All of us wear masks in society, and we wear a different mask based on who we want to be too different people. We show one side of ourselves and act a different version of ourselves, around friends or family. At night, on the weekend, we wear the mask of the party animal who goes to a nightclub to drink and dance with strangers. But to a certain circle of people, at certain times of the day, we are the Primal. That's all being a Primal really is, just another mask. Not who we are, but a version of ourselves we let free when we have the right people around us.

With all of this, I feel a much more comprehensive discussion about being a Primal is necessary. Starting with the one thing that always drives me absolutely crazy when people complain about it is the 'labels'. You can't imagine how much it makes me cringe to have read and heard people talk about how they don't like using the word 'prey' when referring to the sub in a Primal relationship. "Oh, 'prey' is food, 'prey' is visceral, I don't identify as something you eat" Gawd, just shut up, Tiffany. It annoys the hell out of me because the concept of misnomers seems completely lost on them. Yes, the Primal dom can also be referred to as the Hunter, Predator, or sometimes the animal they relate to the most, like Wolf. Likewise, the Primal sub can also be referred to as Prey, Mate, or Kitten. The use of these names really only comes down to personal preference and not the original definitions.

In recent weeks, I've seen people talking on Reddit and Twitter about their partner acting unusually during sex, describing them as sometimes acting 'possessed' or like 'chain chomp' from Mario. As funny as it's been, I can still recognize the need for people to understand what exactly happens during Primal play. I'll be going over details quickly, but you can get a full description of what Primal play is my earlier post. In instances of sex with Primals, there are three primary groups: Primal with a non-Primal, Primal dom with a Primal sub, and Primal dom with a Primal dom.

Primal vs. Non-Primal

When a Primal is with someone who is not accustomed to Primal sex, it's understandable they would keep that to themselves. However, in the heat of the moment, the Primal side can come out, surprising the unsuspecting partner. Because Primal play can be animalistic, rough, and is considered edge-play by the BDSM community, being rough with a Primal can trigger them to become the beast they keep inside. Other times, their Primal behavior can be triggered by things like scent, grabbing of hair, clawing with nails, etc., as these are acts often performed by those who engage in Primal play.