Through Her Eyes

The way she orbited the earth and it was as if everything she did, was full of magic. It wasn't long before he was sucked into her world. This world was always filled with her infectious laughter and it would lift you up higher than the skies. Sometimes, she was too selfless to the point of getting lost in what was going on around her. To her, the earth was a beautiful place.

He wondered what was it like to feel these things? How is it possible for one girl to be so infatuated with the world? To him, the world was foolish and didn't matter. Why should he even bother trying to keep up and care about everything around him? To him, school was always full of new faces, new names and new friends. They would end up forgetting about him anyway.

He didn't believe that she was genuine. She treated everyone the same, and the whole plan would be for no one to realize that she was faking. They were only a couple of weeks into their freshman year, but he felt as if he was the only one who knew how fake she was. Surely, it couldn't be just him. He cringed at the sight, how blind were those around her, did they even really know her?

She was mainly outgoing but she wouldn't dare to share any bits of her personal life. To her that was nothing more than a sad reality. Why couldn't she just live in her head and inside this fake world she has created? Who even wanted to face the truth behind the closed doors? Sometimes though, even her own brain would think too fast and she would lose touch of her own world. Those moments where it all escaped her were scary.

He caught her staring at him like she was looking right through his soul and searching for every lurking deep thought inside his brain. If she could get a hold of it, she'd pick away at the invisible scars until she figured out the true meaning behind his quiet life. He thought there was no point in maintaining friendships for those who would never see the real him. For that, he looked away and was left in the reality of his own table sitting by himself. He liked to think it didn't bother him, but perhaps he was slightly envious that she achieved friends so fast.

He didn't expect her to ever glimpse his way again but she did. They would lock eyes suddenly, and there he felt it again- like she was looking for reasons for why he was the loner he was. Then the week after that, she did something he never thought would even occur. She stopped him in the hallways and introduced herself. She then started to outstretch her hand like it was some sort of privilege to even be spoken to by her. He didn't shake it back. She grabbed his hand and then forcibly shook it. He let her maneuver his hand up and down in such motion. She waited for him to say something, but he didn't care. What was she expecting of him?

She thought he was quirky. Which made her all the more curious to figure out what exactly was going on inside his mind. He tensed up and couldn't even begin to speak when he was around her. What was it like being constantly followed around by your own loneliness? Did any part of him wish for more than what he had? These questions are what kept her wanting more, that's the reason she cared so much for him.

The next few weeks of school were confusing to him. She constantly tried to talk to him. He was irritated and wanted her to leave him alone. Why did she even want to associate herself with the likes of him? He didn't get why he was suddenly so important to this one girl. Every single day, she tried and tried again. It became part of his routine. She would stop and say hi to him constantly. Somehow though after a few weeks, he looked forward to hearing the sound of her voice. To him, this became soothing. It was an eerie feeling, but he felt like someone actually noticed him for once. It was as if when he was with her- he forgot who he really was inside.

Over the next couple of weeks, no matter how much he tried to keep up the wall between them, she kept breaking it down. He loosened up, and she even made him laugh one morning. Whenever he seemed to be letting down his guard, she could recognize when he would put it back up. In her head, she created a haven where he wouldn't be ashamed.

At times, she wondered if the reason why she was so absorbed in his struggles was because she refused to acknowledge her own. She felt that she was now getting a glimpse of his world. She recognized what it was like to be lonely and she felt it.

Part of her felt as if she was ready to dive into this sensation but there was this overwhelming fear that stopped her. She wanted to stop herself from getting too invested in him. What was it about him that gave her a sense of purpose?

He started to pick up on her behavior and the way she would observe things so quietly. It was as if she was seeing the world for the first time and cherishing it. This intrigued him and he became more lost in her world. He felt as if she was beginning to clear the maze that she had already figured out. He knew that she wanted to get to know him, and is it so bad that he wanted that too?

She felt as if she was getting somewhere with him. She felt him trying, she felt that he was beginning to lower his wall. She had never experienced such vulnerability before. Were her own issues of concern now? She tried to push those thoughts away. However, as the seconds ticked by when she was with him, she was lost in his beliefs. The way he made her feel such things she had never felt before. For that, she wanted to continue exploring.

She was so intrigued with everything that he sought out to make her feel that way. He loved it when her face would light up and she would break out into one of those big smiles. He felt a sense of happiness that he had never felt. He wanted to be with her, if this meant he could feel this way forever. He was lost in her world now more than ever. He had completely forgotten what lonliness felt like. She made him believe things he never thought was possible. He talked to people he never would have spoken to.

She was now scared. Her mind continued to pace and her stomach fluttered. She swallowed another wave of uneasiness and stared at the ceiling. She was disturbed by what she was feeling. Life was full of things that she wasn't ready for. If she wasn't going to face it now, when was she ever? She felt as if she was drowning. She had to face what was hidden that she so longed to forget.

He recognized her absence when she hadn't been at school for over a week. That week was full of dread and worry for him. He had this pit at the bottom of his stomach. Throughout the hallways, there was a similar eerie feeling. No one knew where she was. When she wasn't there, he felt like he began to sink further into the abyss. He needed to see that smile, even if it was just once.

It's been months without her. He never saw her face after that one day. He never thought she would be gone so fast. He hated himself for caring about her, this was all his fault. He should have never met her.

She sacrificed too much just by being there. She wanted to share with him why she left, but she could never. How was he doing? Did he even miss her? She hoped he did, but for his own sake- she wanted him to forget she existed. She never meant for any of this to happen, and she never considered how she would change. She now remembered how to smile, and she looked out for herself. She just wish she knew that sooner.

He asked around constantly, Have you seen her? Where is she? Instead, people laughed and claimed they had never even heard of her. Others just ignored him. The more and more he asked, he always heard the same answer. People thought he was getting her confused with someone else. She never went to this school, others would say. He shook his head side to side, they must be wrong or just maybe, they were right. He began to doubt her existence as the days went by. Was she even real he yelled? No, he succumb to the thought she was not real at all. He then started to think of how she changed him for the better. He realized he was kinder, and thankful for what she did. He was able to believe in himself and have confidence. He was able to see the world through her eyes now.