Pain | The Orville

Chapter 1

Ed's POV

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

"Ed, are you alright?" Kelly asked, waving her hand around. I was staring into the ground, feeling like I was going to vomit. "Ed!" She exclaimed, snapping her fingers together.

"What?" I answered, looking at her.

"Are you alright?" She asked again.

"I feel like–" I was about to vomit and I ran to the nearest garbage can. I vomited my guts out and wiped my mouth afterwards. I synthesized a glass of water and drank it immediately.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

"Ed, maybe you should stay in your quarters for now." Kelly said.

My body was aching more at this point and I couldn't do much, without feeling more nauseous than before. I couldn't eat anything, since nothing came through. In the mess hall that day, I couldn't keep anything down again.

"Ed, are you okay? You look pale as hell." Gordon asked. I trying my hardest not to vomit.

"It's nothing." I brushed it off.

"Then how come you haven't eaten anything?" He said, worried about me.

"I don't know. It's like my body hates me or something." I told him.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

"You should eat something light. Don't move." He said, getting up and went to synthesize something. I felt a lot of pain in my stomach as another wave of nausea appeared. "Eat this." Gordon said as he came back with crackers.

"Thanks." I sighed, trying to eat it, but it wouldn't let me do so.

"Do you think it's possible it might be something serious?" He asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged, feeling more immense pain than before. I got up and vomited uncontrollably, fainting afterwards. I woke up 15 minutes later and there were machines beeping. "W-what happened?" I said, unaware what was going on. Everything was spinning and my lower stomach was hurting so much and I was groaning in pain.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you'll understand

"Captain, how are you feeling?" Claire asked.

"Like a bowling ball just crushed me." I answered, feeling tired.

"It's alright. Just sleep and you'll feel better soon." She assured me. Late at night, I was sweating and hyperventilating so much from the pain itself that I took my IV off.

"Captain, stay calm and breathe." Nurse Park said, holding me down. I was already feeling more nauseous than before. I felt more pain than ever.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

The next morning, I woke up with food next to me. I couldn't eat it because of how nauseating my stomach was feeling and I couldn't keep anything down.

"Sir, is this food not to your liking?" Claire asked. I nodded weakly and she checked my temperature. I was sweating so much I felt like I was going to pass out. "Ed, I hate to tell you this, but your fever is higher than it should've been." Claire said, surprised to see that.

"Okay." I said quietly.

"If you still can't eat anything, let me know and I'll see what I can do." She assured me. I dozed off after a few minutes, hoping whatever it is will go away already.

I know (I know I know I know)
I know that you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

I woke up two hours later, feeling nauseous again. I got up and went to the bathroom. I vomited violently into it and felt my stomach burning like hell. I went back to my room and started crying. I heard footsteps and quickly wiped my tears. It was Kelly.

"Hey, Ed. How are you?" She asked, placing a bowl of soup on my nightstand.

"Dying." I blatantly answered, my voice hoarse.

"My poor baby." She stroked my forehead, then kissing it. She gave me some soup and I tried eating it, but it made my stomach hurt more and I couldn't hold it down.

"Kelly, I think I'm dying." I grabbed her wrist, feeling more pain than before. She lifted my gown and touched my stomach. I howled in pain with tears on my eyes.

"Ed, try to relax." Kelly softly said, holding my hand.

"It fucking hurts!" I shouted, sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

"I know. Just stay calm and let me get Claire." She reminded me.

I couldn't stay awake as I was close to passing out and I felt my blood pressure drop. I grabbed my IV hook, trying to keep myself awake. I then collapsed. I don't remember exactly what happened next, but all I know is that I was wheeled to a different room.

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Few days later, I woke up and felt myself a lot better than before. My body wasn't aching as it was. My arm was bruised badly from the IV, but it wasn't hurting. It was just sore, so Claire advised me to stay in my quarters and get proper rest. I decided to wear sweatpants and a shirt, since I was very tired at this point. I ate something light and began falling asleep afterwards.

End