awkward me

Part 2

This is the part of me that you are never gonna ever take away from me"
My alarm. I have to wake up at 6:50. I just do the regular schedule. Wake up put on clothes brush my teeth and leave.

I get on the bus but my seat is taken I move and every seat is taken except for the one right next to jake.
I was thinking about leaving but I sat next to him anyway. I put on my ear buds. 5 minutes later he tapped on my shoulder. I took off my earbuds and said " hi" and it turned out that my voice was so DEEP. "Hi. Uh so can I listen to the song?" "Yah" I handed him an earbud and the whole time I was thinking: OMG we are listening to the same song. Wait what the freak?! I am acting like a dumb little petty girl.!!!!!!!! Then he asked " hey you busy this Friday?" I replied " um .... What I mean uh yah no I can't come wait omg sorry yah I am." Dang it dang it. Now he is PROBALLY thinking that he doesn't want to do anymore. "Ok cool"

NOTE TO SELF: is this for real????
****

a couple days later and it's Friday. I didn't sit next to him in the bus but I was next to James.
James: hey are you busy tonight... Because we're all going to the club again."
me: yah I'm dyeing my hair blacker.
James: come on! We will go to a different club than the other-"
Me: that's not the reason I just need my hair to get blacker because I'm getting some brown streaks you know that's my natural hair color and I hate it.

Thought to self: ok so I have brown hair and I am not goth. But I act and dress up like one.

My dad always asks me why I went goth.
Here is your answer : my mom was a brunette like me but she didn't like the way she was. So she changed.
There is your answer

Ok 30 minutes til our "date" and he texts me I'll pick u up in 30 minutes and we're gonna get some pizza .... Is that ok? I replied "ok"

I don't know what to wear a black skirt or black dress? There was thought in my head "should I wear something .... Not black? no I'm just gonna stick with black.

30 minutes has past and he is pulling in I run down stairs and I am wearing just black shorts and a tank top." Hi jake. What's up?" "Nothing get in the car lets go for a ride." I get in the car and were silent the ride there. We grab some pizza and go. " thanks for the pizza and ride I will see you tomorrow.?" He replies " no there is one more place to go" he driven us to a drive in. And it was a romantic movie. What the freak is he thinking.

He says " I known you since the fifth grade. And your hair is naturally brown and you never wore makeup. What happened? I miss the old you!"
Me: ya I guess

He leans over and puts his arms around me.

What is this !!?! He is omg he is flirting with me!

Then he leans towards me. He says " You so beautiful...." "Thanks" then he leans even closer and try's to kiss me. I lean back even more and say "gotta go see you at third period." He screams "hey!!!! Come back here Natalie please." I keep running soon enough I am crying. My mascara is running and my I rub off my eyeliner. I fall down on the curb and just sit there. " I'm a loser dumb person!" Then I stood up and walked home.

I walked in the house and slammed the door. Ran into my room and went on my phone. I've looked on my phone and I realized I got five messages and I got all five from James. And all of them said was " hey baby hey baby you should of came to the club really it was so fun we partied all night and I met a couple of guys and they're really hot. Oh and I got free beers!" I called him back. He didn't reply. I left a message " hey James.... Sorry I couldn't make it and to be honest I was hanging out with another friend of mine but it didn't go so well and I'm probably not ever going to see him again or ever talk to him again because he probably thinks I'm just some weirdo some next time you want to go to the club put me first one on your list." I hung up and turned off my phone and went to sleep.

Next morning I don't ride on the bus. I tell my dad I'm sick. ( which of course I am faking.) I am on my phone all day. Now if you're thinking that I'm hiding home because I am scared that Jake will see me your right. I know I sound like a coward, but to be honest I don't care.

The whole day I was sitting on my bed and on Instagram.