Nothing Feels Like You (Book 2) (SAMPLE ONLY)

2 - My Truth

Ariana

As soon as they were gone the dam broke. Tears streamed steadily down my round cheeks. Sobs shook my broken body. There was pain radiating throughout me, but I was too caught in the turmoil and fear to feel it. This was a nightmare. Never could I have imagined that I would be laying in a hospital because my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend would actually try to take my life. An ironic chuckle escaped my lips. Followed by another and another. Soon I was in a hysterical chuckling fit. The nurse came in to check on me. Her eyes widened as she saw my tearful expression and uncontrollable laughter. My hands covered my mouth, but it was no use. I had lost my mind.

"Are you alright dear?" She asked in a gentle voice.

Her inquiry caused more laughter. "No! I'm not alright." What kind of absurd question was that? If I was alright, I wouldn't be in the hospital. I would be swallowed up in Xavier's sweatshirt, sitting with my legs folded underneath on my bed, trying to get my schoolwork done before he barged into the apartment and commanded my attention. Instead I was wearing a paper-thin hospital gown that didn't even close all the way. I was a mess and I didn't know how to make myself right. I wasn't sure that anyone could. That was the whole point of what Bria did. She wanted to break me. She wanted me to be a broken mess. She wanted Xavier to walk away from me.

The nurse frowned, "Do you need something for the pain?"

I shook my head and inhaled deeply. The chuckles stopped, but the tears kept flowing. "No, I just need a moment."

She hummed softly but refrained from sharing whatever she was thinking. "Okay, I'll come check on you in an hour. In the meantime, press the call button if you need anything. There's a catheter in you right now so you shouldn't have to get out of the bed."

"Thank you," I murmured while laying my head back on the pillow. She left the room without delay probably thinking I had gone crazy. Maybe I had. My mind was flooded with contradicting emotions. There was happiness, sadness, anger, regret, sympathy, and so many others. It didn't make sense. None of this made sense.

My mom called a little over an hour after her and my dad had left. I told her that there was no need for them to come back to the hospital today. I insisted that they enjoy their night. She didn't agree easily, but I was happy when she did. I loved my parents. I was grateful that they came when they heard that I was hurt, but I couldn't handle my dad right now. I couldn't deal with the judgmental look on his face. The look that he thought he was hiding, but I knew it too well to ever be fooled. I had seen that look directed at me a hundred times. It was a look that said that no matter how old I got he would always consider me to be a child incapable of making her own decisions. My brother never got that look although there was plenty of times when he deserved it, especially the time he took me to a college party with him when I was only a junior in high school. His friends fed me alcohol until I blacked out and got alcohol poisoning. Somehow my dad's harsh look was reserved for me and only me. According to him, it was my fault that I had too much alcohol. The impressionable high schooler should have been capable of standing up to the college sophomores.

I was sure he felt the same given my current situation. That look was on his face. There was a part of him that blamed me for being runover by Bria. Perhaps he felt that I had instigated this whole thing. He probably thought I shouldn't have dated Xavier, or any guy for that matter. He had never considered me to be mature enough for romance. He always assumed it made me lose focus although my grades never changed. I was never good enough for Duncan Klein, especially now.

Despite my insistence, Xavier came back just be visiting hours ended. He was showered and prepared to spend the night sleeping on the uncomfortable pullout sofa. He'd snuck in a cheeseburger and strawberry milkshake for me which was very much appreciated.