our future

maybe you're crazy

title: crazy - gnarls barkley
billie's POV
three days later*
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i'm visiting elle today and i'm lowkey terrified. it's about eleven am and somehow the kids are still asleep which is super surprising considering they usually wake up at around eight. "i love you" i whisper to them and kiss them each on the forehead. they made a fort with will in the living room so they could watch movies. i smile a little and walk out of the living room after a few seconds.

"hey, good luck" claudia tells me when i walk into the kitchen. "thank you. i have a feeling i'm gonna need it." i sigh and rub my forehead, kinda scared about what's to come. "i'm sure everything will be okay. let us know how it goes" finneas assures me, rubbing my arm comfortingly. "i will. i better get going. thanks again for letting us stay here. i don't want to be alone at the house even if it is with the kids." i say with a fake smile. "no problem. we love having you guys here" finneas responds, pulling me into a hug. "i love you." he tells me. "i love you too" i sigh and hug him back. claudia and i say our goodbyes and i walk out to the car.

i get to the hospital and take a deep breath before walking in. "hey i'm here to see elle o'connell" i tell the guy at the front desk. "oka. i'm just gonna have you put your phone and all other metal objects in this bucket, walk through this metal detector just in case and take a seat right there while we call her down." he explains. i furrow my eyebrows a little, wondering why they have so much security but obey his orders. i sit down on the couch in the waiting room with my arms crossed tightly and a leg over the other to stop it from bouncing though my foot shakes from side to side anyway. i hear someone yell and look up to see elle scolding a guard. i take a deep, shaky breath and the door opens.

"hey elle" i smile a little though it's probably obviously fake. blu smiles at me and starts pulling at the leash, trying to get to me. "billie." she responds, her voice as cold as ice. "how's every-" i start but she cuts me off. "where are the kids?" she asks. "i left them at home. i thought it'd be best" i answer, seeing a flame arise in her eyes. "elaborate." she orders.  "i didn't bring the kids because i knew they'd be scared. fuck, i'm scared so imagine how scared they'd be! and do you really want them to see you this way? do you really want me to see you this way? i know the real you would say no. i came to see how you were. i came to see if you were ready to come home because we all really, really miss the real you. the kids don't understand what's going on. they think you abandoned them." i explain and run my hand through my hair.  "stop saying the real me like i'm not real right now. you can see me. i'm real. you know that. i'm worth something. you know that. and if you don't believe it then you can just fucking leave." she raises her voice and i flinch a little before taking another deep breath. "elle i know you're real. i know you're worth something. but these past few days, you haven't acted like the woman i married. you haven't acted like the mother of my children. you haven't acted like your true self, the real you. if you were the real you right now, you wouldn't be yelling at me for protecting our children from the trauma of seeing you this way." i tell her in the calmest voice i can. "leave." she demands. "what? no. we need to talk this ou-" i start but she cuts me off once again. "leave!" she shouts and slams her fist on the table.

before i know it the guards are taking elle away. elle starts screaming and squirming to get out of their grip which scares me even more. i feel tears streaming down my face and i get all my stuff before running out to the car.

fuck that went bad