84 Cents

In the beginning, there was a lighter

I woke up to the smell of cigarettes and and a strain in my leg from sleeping on the dilapidated couch. It was already 11 in the morning and one thing I was certain of was today was going to be shittier than the last. School had started 3 and a half hours prior and I knew I didn’t have the ambition to get up out of the unusually cold basement and take a 20 minute walk in 20 degree weather. Instead I decided to walk upstairs and take the most frustrating piss of the day. After standing over the toilet for about a minute waiting for the morning wood to dissipate I decided it was time to smoke the best and worst thing of the day “The Morning Cigarette”. About two hits in I was already nauseous from the carbon monoxide, the cottonmouth from not drinking a drop of anything in 12 hours was also a nice addition to the already mediocre morning.

As you may have guessed this isnt a glamour story of love or how deep the simple things in life are but a story of the (not quite) working class teenager. One thing I am sure of though is life always have a way of correcting itself for better or worse and that is what this story can be interpreted as. Maybe you don't believe in that, hell sometimes I don't but it always seems to prevail some way or another. 

After getting a drink of room temperature tap water I stumbled through the cabinets to find something adequate to stop my cravings. After starring at the same few things for about 5 minutes I finally decided on eating what’s left in a box of cheezits. Its funny cause I never really like cheese but I love cheezits. I guess its hard to taste the cheese through all the preservatives. As I walked carelessly through the kitchen I knocked over a pile of bills. One that stuck out was the mortgage and the fact it was at least three months behind “figures”. I could never understand why someone would pull a 48,000 dollar mortgage out on a cookie cutter house that was built along with hundred just like it back in the mid 80’s. I guess the mortgage companies just love to relish in the debt of the barley middle class.

It was about 6:30 when my brother came home smelling like a deep fryer with some soft drinks that were already starting to perspire from sitting in a truck for about 30 minutes. I walked back downstairs to hear the thud of him packing a fresh pack of the cheapest cigarettes you can buy that don't burn like paper. By that time the sun had nearly set in a depressing manner and I had the choice of walking to the closest Mcdonalds and gettings some burgers that were slopped together by people about my age or heating up some rubbery t.v. dinner, you probably know what I choose… When I got home it was about 7:50 and I had no intent of going to sleep in about three hours so instead I got on netflix and watched about six hours of one show in a row. When that spree was done it was about three in the morning.

I walked into my laundry room to see if i had anything that wasn’t two sizes too small for me to wear to school tomorrow, and to my luck there wasn’t… So it was laundry time which means I was going to have to wait about an hour for it to wash so I could put it in the dryer that also meant I would have to sift through a oversized pile of dirty laundry to find any of my own clothes. After around an hour of scrolling through instagram I heard the obnoxious ring of the washing machine finally done with its extremely long spin cycle, finally I could pass out and get my two hours of much needed sleep.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP I rolled over to realize it was already 6:15 and the beeps were coming from my phone and that meant it was time for me to trudge my ass to school again…. I grabbed my phone and immediately hit the snooze button I would continuously do that until it was 7:00. As usual I was surprised it could already be 7:00 even though I knew damn well that I had hit the snooze button at least 3 times. I proceeded to jump out of bed and throw on my clothes that were still slightly warm from the dryer that had only went off about an hour ago. Dont you just love the feeling of clothes straight out of the dryer? Oh well I digress. Anyways after I wasted about two minutes trying to find a belt I ran up stairs full speed to get to the bathroom where I would have to do the most dreaded thing of the morning, brush my teeth in under a minute. I grabbed my toothbrush only to realize there was barely any toothpaste in the already mangled tube. after about 30 seconds of twisting I got enough toothpaste out to atleast get rid of my morning breath. After nearly making myself throw up what was left of the Mcdonalds I had yesterday from accidently gagging myself with the toothbrush I was finally done, and with 3 minutes to spare! I ran back downstairs and took two of the few cigarettes left in my brothers pack, smoked about half of one when I realized it was already around 7:10. I put it out in a hurry and ran out the door. The second I felt the gust of ten degree wind I knew the walk ahead was going to suck. As I was almost to school I noticed that the little ice crystals that had gathered on my already thin chuck taylors was starting to thaw and allow grass trimmings to get stuck all over the soles of my shoes. 

Finally! I mumbled under my dry breath when I finally arrived at the steps of my school. The gust of warm air as I walked into the school was welcoming, but the work and undersized plastic chairs ahead were not. The bell had already almost rang and I only had about 2 minutes to get to class. I dodged my way through freshmen the size kindergarteners and seniors the size of NBA players as I thought to myself what the fuck are they putting in our food? The halls were filled with teenagers with music so loud you could hear it from the end of the hall out of their earphones and couples that were groping on each other as if they were about to fuck. I finally got to my first period class and pulled out a drink that was leftover from last night when my brother had brought drinks. It was colder in my backpack than it was in the fridge where I got it from after the walk. 

The teacher had a whole arsenal of work ready for us and I was still so tired I could barely grasp the thought of me grabbing a pencil out of my backpack. The smell of pencil shavings and rarely washed weave was enough to make cry and wish I was home still in bed. An hour later I heard a dull beeping coming from the ceiling already time for second period. I threw on my backpack and walked nearly a quarter mile to my next class. I’ll spare you the boring details of the other five hours of boredom and skip to the end of the school day… It was finally 2:20 and words cant describe the feeling of relief I had. As I walked out the door the gust of cold air greeted me again with excitement. I followed a few of my friends to the front of the school where most everyone has decided to claim as the smoke spot. Everyone had already lit up a cigarette or black and mild and started going to town hot boxing as much nicotine and tar as possible before their buses left. The few of my friends who had stayed had the usual small talk while I sat there watching the buses go by. I feel like character development is important to a story but ide rather not put my friends names out there to um… well protect their identities I guess. I heard the “roar” of a v6 engine I knew all too well. It was that of someone everyone wasn’t very excited to see. As he pulled into the school entrance everybody knew what time it was. He reached over to the passenger window to roll it down. His hair was greasier than that of a 1950’s greaser and his breath smelt of jazz flavored black and milds.He had graduated a year prior and hung out with underclassmen after school. His dated izuzu about to fall apart where it was parked was enough to make sick. He chanted to everyone if they wanted to ride with him to the circle K. Most declined but I was feeling saucy that day and said fuck it. I grabbed the broken seat release that could cut your finger if you weren't careful and proceeded to the worn in back seat. Between his breath the fact there was no heat in his car and the possibility of him bumming 84 cents to buy a black and mild or a fountain drink from the circle K I had come to the realization that I had made a mistake....

 Halfway to circle K he had demanded my friend plug his phone up to the auxiliary cord in his car. Soon I would hear the blare of a remix of the Dej Loaf song “Try me”. I giggled trying not to laugh as he sung along and made up his own lyrics. As we pulled into the parking spot I knew what time it was. He looked back at me and I already knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth next (“can I get 84 cents?”) Can you believe it I was right and next thing you know i was reaching into my pocket with my windburnt hands rubbing up against my jeans reaching out three quarters and a dime. I forced my way out of the backseat and proceeded to walk into the circle k and get a polar pop. Once I had found my way to the polar pop machine The smell of the poorly cleaned drainage system to the machine knocked me off my feet with disgust but what do you expect for 79 cents in one of shitiest gas stations in the city. The feel of the drying sticky sugary water was a big annoyance as I waited in line with some of least bright people in the area. As the last customer had left the line with a confident stride and a hanes hoodie covered in cat hair it was time to pay up to one of the many women past their prime who would inevitably try to flirt with me while pulled out a crumpled dollar I had got from my friend who hand in turn got it from shooting loaded dice in the bathroom. All this for a ride home, but shit it sure beats walking. 

As we pulled up to my house I had the realization that he would want to come in my house and hangout for a hour or “more”... This had left me with the option of shunning him like an asshole or babysitting a 19 year old. Lets just put it this way I have a hard time saying no sometimes. We walked through my front door only to find my mom puffing on a E-cig with A tone of voice I was all too familiar with. The voice wasn’t of happiness or of relief but that of anger and more anger. She gave each of my friends a death stare as we walked to my basement. By this time the whole basement was more clouded with smoke than a bowling alley in the 70’s and I could care less the whole house had a permanent smell of cigarette smoke by then anyways. I sunk into my couch while everyone fiddled with my shit, yep I couldn’t be any happier...