All New Feelings

Chapter 1

Coming back to the school, where there were so many memories of people he'd lost, haunted his every waking moment. All he could do was look out towards the rolling hills passing by. In a similar compartment a little further down, another boy felt the exact same way. The two had been intertwined since the beginning of time, young rivals turned acquaintances turned friends to possible lovers. Only the fates know how much of each boy's life would affect the other's, but now after the death of Dumbledore and the fall of Voldemort, Fate still had a few tricks up her sleeve. Our story begins, at the start of our subjects' eighth year.

Walking back into Hogwarts felt like reliving a nightmare he wasn't sure was over. Everywhere he looked, he could see the ghosts of those who had passed as if they were still there, as if he was still there. The faces of Fred and Remus and Tonks would forever haunt his memory of the Great Hall. Their gaunt pale features, the cold look of their bodies, everything was a reminder of the carnage he'd tried to leave behind.

Something was touching him. He flinched. Looking over his shoulder, he could see the worried look on Hermione's face. Shrugging her off, he put on his best face of being unaffected. He knew it would only worry her further but there was nothing he could say now surrounded by everybody. Looking across the hall, the number of familiar faces were few. No one wanted reminders of what they had survived. Well, everyone but himself and Hermione. She had persuaded him to come back and finish out his studies so he could have some downtime before the press suffocated him. Thanks to the Fidelus Charm on Grimmauld, no one could get to his house, but they still accosted him in the streets. He couldn't leave home without a Glamour Charm.

McGonagall made the Welcome Speech to introduce the first years, but Harry barely listened. Some fifth-year girls were whispering about Soulmarks and how one of them had a mark already. He remembered the day he realized he had a mark, it was not too long after him and Mione were left alone in the Forest of Dean that she pointed out his mark to him. A soul mark would show up on a wizard, witch, or wix after an intimate moment with one's soulmate. Harry's list of people he'd been intimate with wasn't long, romantic or otherwise, as Molly didn't count since Arthur was her soulmate, and it also wasn't Hermione as hers hadn't shown up when she pointed his out. His thoughts were again derailed by Ron pushing a plate of food towards him.

"You need to eat, mate. You're looking a bit thin and Mum would have my head if she knew I wasn't making sure you ate."

He looked a bit resigned making Harry feel a bit guilty. It wasn't Ron's fault he couldn't bring himself to do anything productive. Ron and Hermione were the only things keeping Harry going. His entire purpose had been fulfilled and now that the war was over, all that was left of him was a broken shell of a person.

"You should really try and eat Harry. Please, for us?" Acknowledging Hermione with a glance, Harry finally picked up his fork and began to push food around on his plate. As much as he loved the Welcoming Feast, nothing felt the same. Not even his own mind.

"If it makes you feel any better mate, Malfoy is just as miserable if not more." Normally that would make him feel a bit better, but for some reason, he only felt worse. Doing his best to appear better, Harry chuckled lamely and went back to picking at his food. This time he actually tried to keep up with the conversations happening around him but his mind kept going back to the fact that Malfoy was miserable and the insane urge he had to somehow fix that.

Excusing himself from the table, Harry grabbed his bag and headed out of the Great Hall, mindlessly wandering the halls and following the randomness of the stairs. He found himself on the seventh-floor corridor by the tapestry that was near the Room of Requirement. Curious about how the room was inside, Harry walked back and forth in front of the wall. I need somewhere to sit and think.