Halapatov

Chapter Ten

Sometimes in the continuing voyage of existence, circumstances decree that there must be life-changing events, things that completely destroy you or renew your strength, which entirely morph your perspective of the world, as if you've been looking through a stained glass window and now you're glimpsing through the shattered remains real, untinted life.

I guess my visit with Leila was like that for me. For the rest of the day I just felt lost, like everything I'd known to be true had been washed away. It was as if I couldn't even remember my old life at all, before Sophie and my powers and adventures, before everything that had happened since the Weraynian scare. Did the girl who'd been an aloof know-it-all in class, who'd been dependant on Leila for friendship and cared about her more than anything in the world, even exist anymore? Being on Halapatov emphasized my sense of disconnect with the past, because nothing here reminded me of my childhood at all, there was no familiarity; and with Sophie by my side, how could I not feel the effects of change?

I have to say, throughout this period of inner turmoil, I was not a very good friend to Sophie, but to me she was incredible. She did all she could to keep my spirits up. Even just on the first day following my fight with Leila we did so much, and I knew it was to distract me and it worked, to some extent.

We walked through the city, and Sophie led me to the massive spaceport, where ships were constantly flowing in and out. We viewed the streams of embarking and departing people of all races, and admired the spaceships, and just ran through it trying to see it all. It was far bigger than any spaceport I'd seen in my life, being in a capital city on Halapatov, and I was left in awe of some of the ships and people and spaces that were found there. We saw trade ships, and public transport, and private ships and government ships and enough goings on to make my analytical and information-hungry brain happy for a fortnight, and yet it was hard to really be happy, with the white noise from my swirling emotions as a backdrop for everything I saw. I still managed to enjoy myself, though a part of me wished I could've seen this stuff before visiting Leila, so I could allow myself to be happy about it. That night, instead of retiring back to where we were staying like we normally would, where I would have undoubtedly been alone with my thoughts and ended up distraught, Sophie ushered me onto a transport ship and we travelled across town and out across the suburbs, late into the night, until we reached a relatively grassy plain, scattered with trees. Disembarking from our transport, she led me across the grass in the moonlight, and, though I was exhausted physically and emotionally distraught, my eyes alighted to the heavens and the stunning expanse of stars danced before my eyes. As if by default my body relaxed, and a small smile adorned my face as I followed Sophie, gripping tight to her hand.

I was an incredibly logical person, one who cared about practical things like learning, and building relationships with people. I tended to ignore things that I did not see as helpful to me. I saw no point in them. Yet the stars seemed to be an exception, a guilty pleasure almost, in the gaze of which I was filled with joy at the twinkling lights so far away. On this plain on Halapatov the stars shone bright, which was surprising considering our proximity to the city. So despite everything that was weighing me down, the fear, stress and sadness that mingled in my heart and filled it fit to bursting, I gladly sat with Sophie and stargazed, letting it all slip into the back of my mind, just for this one night.

We'd done this numerous times before, yet Sophie did not complain as I pointed out constellations and described their relevance in astronomy, and babbled on about all that I knew. And she sat contentedly with me in silence for the long while I spent just taking it all in. To me, this night was perfect.

Even as that thought entered my head, guilt crept in. Sophie had organized all this for me. Had we even done anything on this trip for her sake? I could tell that she had been enjoying herself but still I felt bad. I knew that my distress over Leila was perfectly justified, yet it was not fair on Sophie to have to carry me in this way. She was amazing. I had never met anyone like her before, so selfless and bright and caring. Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, I felt a rush of gratitude for her.