The Laws of Emotion

Chapter Thirty

Now that school was over, I finally could focus all my attention on college. I had to figure out the classes I was going to take, what clubs I was going to join, whether or not I was going to play softball in college. It was all happening so fast, the transition from high school to college, but it was distracting me from everything else in my life, which was a good thing. Mom and Dad were still together, and they were doing better. But I could still see the lingering bad feelings; I hoped they would ignore it. Beckett was doing much better, and he could walk by himself now. And Harvey . . . we still hadn't spoken with each other since prom. It was better that way, though.

Today was a very boring day for me since I wasn't doing anything at all. That didn't do me too well because I began thinking about Harvey again. I missed him so much, but I didn't dare contact him. I didn't want to ruin the changes that were happening in my life. I was becoming a better person than I was before. I was finally listening to those around me instead of focusing on my own life. I didn't want him to distract me again, but I also wanted him to come back to me. He was the best thing I never really had a chance to have.

There was a knock on my door, so I looked over at it. Mom entered my room with a soft smile on her face. "Sweetheart, how are you doing?" Mom asked. I hadn't told her about what happened with me and Harvey yet.

I glanced at her before turning back to my TV. A reality TV show played across the screen, but I couldn't pay attention. My mind was somewhere else. It was focused on the one thing that I didn't want it to be focused on.

"Cat." Mom sat down next to me, rubbing her hand across my arm. "Talk to me."

I leaned into her and sighed softly. "I haven't spoken to Harvey since . . ."

"Since when?"

"Prom," I whispered. I kept my eyes trained on the TV, watching as the colors flashed across the walls of my room. "We went to his house, as you know, and I talked about how I felt about him."

"Did he feel the same?"

I nodded. "Yeah. We kissed."

She frowned at me. "What's wrong, then?"

"I haven't spoken to him since, and he hasn't made an effort to speak to me, either, I've been so busy worrying about Beckett and you that I didn't have time to talk to him or my other friends," I said sadly. I couldn't help myself; I had to ramble to her. It had been building up in my chest for weeks, and I needed to let it out sometime. "Mom, I -" I cleared my throat. "I love him. I have always loved him, Mom."

She smiled softly. There was a look of understanding in her eyes. "I know, sweetheart."

My phone buzzed next to me, but I didn't bother looking at it. Sophia kept texting me about how I just needed to grow a spine and that I needed to talk to him. I didn't want to hear her say it to me over a phone call.

"I think you should answer it," Mom said suddenly.

I looked at my phone and nearly screamed. My heart started thudding against my chest at the sight. "Mom! I can't!" Harvey's icon appeared on my phone again, so I threw it to Mom. "You do it!"

She answered for me and said brightly, "Hi, Harvey!"

"Hi!" Harvey said, his voice sending flutters through my stomach. For some reason, she had him on speaker phone, which I hated so much. I didn't want to hear his voice again and fall back into the ditch he had dug for me. "Is Cat around?"

I shook my head violently. Mom apparently thought it was funny because she was laughing at me. Waving my hands, I whispered, "Tell him no."

She pointed my phone at me and said, "She's here."