Paramedic Brian Sheahan and His Partner Melody respond to an unusual call in Prospect Park.
Mel slammed the ambulance into gear, flipped on the lights and siren, and drove across the traffic circle to the shooting scene, where they were greeted by Jackie [Police Ditective]. She was laughing when she met them.
"Oh my God! Brian, Mel: you guys are gonna love this one."
"What you got?"
"Drug deal gone bad. Perp shoots the vic..." She burst out laughing again. "In the..."
As they came upon the scene, there was a circle of uniformed and plainclothes police standing around a skinny black man sitting upright and rocking back and forth screaming:
"THE MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME IN MY DICK! IN MY DICK!"
"That's a new one," Mel said.
Brian knelt down next to the patient. His crotch was soaked with blood. A puddle had begun to form around where he sat on the sidewalk.
"He shot me in my dick! OOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! You don't shoot a nigga in his dick! That shit's cruel and unusual!"
“You want this one, Mel?”
“Naw. This one’s on you.”
There was a flash, and Brian looked up to see Brooklyn standing there with her camera.
"Brook! Get back behind the line. You know better!" Jackie warned her, but she already had the shot she wanted.
"Okay, try and relax—"
"You relax, motherfucker! Try getting shot in your dick and see if you can relax!"
"I see your point, but try. What's your name?"
"DJ Speedy Finghaz!"
"So, you’re a rapper, then."
"Motherfucker, did I not just say I was a DJ!"
Brian pulled out his trauma shears and showed them to him.
"Okay, Mr. DJ, I'm going to cut open your jeans with these shears. They’re sharp as hell, and if you move too much, I'm liable to cut something you don't want to lose. So, be still."
A look of stark terror flooded the face of Mr. DJ Speedy Finghaz. He froze in place. Brian began cutting off the bloody jeans. Most of the male cops winced when he pulled the material away from DJ's crotch. The bullet had entered from the rear through his gluteus maximus, exited out his pelvis and then cleanly through the man's penis’ midshaft. DJ looked down at his exposed member with the whole crowd of police watching and began sobbing.
"He shot me in my dick. Oh my God, he shot me in my dick."
"Yeah, he sure did. I bet you wish you were born Irish right about now."
An eruption of laughter resounded from the policemen. One started laughing so hard, he fell to his knees.
Still sobbing, Mr. Finghaz looked at Brian, "That shit ain't funny. You just don't shoot a nigga IN HIS DICK!"
For the briefest of moments, Brian felt pity for this man who had just wanted to buy a rock of crack to take home and smoke in peace.
“Mel, pass me a trauma dressing – a big one.” He nodded at DJ Speedy Finghaz, who nodded back.
Brian bandaged DJ Speedy Finghaz, who was now sobbing quietly, and they loaded him onto the stretcher. Jackie and Billy accompanied them to the ambulance after she handcuffed DJ Speedy Finghaz to the stretcher.
“I get shot in the dick, and this is how y’all treat me?!”
“Relax, my dude, you are going to have a great story to tell,” Brian said.
“I’d rather have my dick! They can fix it, right?”
“Yeah… I’m pretty sure...” He looked at Mel, who shrugged. She had no idea if they could or not. This was way beyond her scope of practice.
Brooklyn was waiting by the ambulance. Brian and Mel continued loading Mr. Finghaz as they spoke. Jackie climbed in and sat on the bench. She would be escorting them to the hospital.
"Hi," Brooklyn said.
"Hi. Can I buy you breakfast."
"I'd rather you made it for me."
Brian stumbled and almost dropped his end of the stretcher as he was loading it.
"Owwww! Be careful, motherfucker! I got shot in my dick!"
"I'll meet you at the garage," she said. She smiled at him and walked away.
http://www.kindlemojo.com/tom
