Ruins (The Jewel Project #6)

23. Eye of the Storm

Kato hadn't been kidding when he claimed training would become harder. Even if Jessie mostly trained with Jimmy, the old master would sometimes intervene and show them tricks they had no idea existed.

Jimmy picked everything up with dizzying speed, practicing moves well after they were technically done. It was the only thing he could do since Kato was very careful with his inner training time.

Even if she didn't like it and wished they could finish their training faster, Jessie understood. Drinking the weird tea and sinking into his own mind took a much greater toll on Jimmy then it did on her. Every time he came out of it, there was a haunted look to him that sent shivers down her spine.

They didn't talk much about it. She tried once, but he brushed her off and she was too scared to insist, especially after she realized that the experiments at the Agency facility went well beyond drugs and the physical. They had tried to brainwash him, and she wasn't sure for what purpose or how far it had gone.

As a result, she'd never felt more entranged from him, even as he became steadily warmer towards her. She could see the desire in his eyes, his need for her. For the first time in her life, it scared her, because she couldn't tell if it was love or this new and frightening need for possession.

At times, it was an actual blessing to escape inside her own head, even if it usually meant reliving the worst moments of her life.

The house was so familiar. Every instinct she had screamed at her to run, to get out of there. It had cost her so much to leave, she couldn't be back there.

But she knew she had to, because the fear of that place, of what happened there, was something she had to overcome.

"They're dead."

Little Jessie stared into the face of her aunt, her eyes wide and fearful. "Mommy and Daddy?"

"We're your mommy and daddy. They were not."

The words plunged her into darkness, into imprisonment and fear. Except she'd managed to overcome it soon enough. The darkness was her friend, the tight spaces made her feel safe. She started craving the isolation. It was better than standing her real parents.

She lashed out and misbehaved just so that they would leave her alone.

"You can't live like this, Jessica. You deserve better."

Esteban. So kind and sweet to her. The friend she needed to stand against her horrid family.

Until she showed who he really was.

His ragged breathing sounded in her ears. Her entire being recoiled, fighting to escape, not be dragged back there. She'd buried it, put it behind her.

"No." Kato's voice broke through, as if he were in that room with her, watching Esteban forcing himself between her legs. "This is what you must face, what you must overcome."

"I can't." Her teeth clattered as she stared up into Esteban's face, the satisfaction on it, the predatory glint in his eyes.

"You must. Turn it into your strength."

She knew what followed. The stinging, the pain, the shame. How could she turn that into her strength? But as much as she tried, the image wouldn't go away this time.

"Face it!"

Face what? She didn't think she could even remember it properly, and yet she found herself able to see every microexpression on his face, feel his body on top of hers.