"help me understand." ISHIMONDO

it started with him.

(ishimaru's pov)

i was exhausted. it was the day of the exams and i stayed up all night studying, as demanded by my father.
i looked down at the bruises and cuts that covered my arms and legs and sighed.
'now i have to worry about covering these up too.' i thought to myself.
i could barely keep my eyes open, i was so tired.

my father has been hard on me ever since i was a kid because of my talent, the ultimate moral compass. now i'm wishing i never would've gotten that talent. something else... anything else.
he treats me terribly, and now that my mom is gone for a trip, he gets to basically do whatever to me and get away with it.

i looked at the clock on my desk. '7:45'
i need to head to school. i packed up my backpack, put on my usual uniform that completely hid my bruises and cuts that my father had given me yesterday, grabbed my backpack and my water bottle, and left my house to walk to school.

the cool air outside stung my cheeks and nose, turning them a bright red.
i was looking forward to seeing owada, he was my only friend at school, the only one who actually treated me like i was worth it.
i'm not really sure why, we don't really have much in common.
if i'm being honest, i really like him. a lot.
and as much as i hate to admit it, i like him in more than just a best friend way.
i love him.

but he could never love a failure like me.

my mind continued to wander, and eventually i made it to the school.
just then, i heard a familiar voice. "hey ishimaru!" it was owada.
just then, my heart felt warm, and i felt happiness rush through my body as i turned around to see him running up to me. "hey owada!" i said, smiling at him.
he has no idea how exhausted i am, considering i always have bags under my eyes.
"ishimaru i have a question for you." he said, punching me in the shoulder. i flinched, it hurt a little bit. "yes owada?" i responded.

(owada's pov)

i can't believe i'm doing this.
i've definitely liked ishimaru for as long as i've known him, but i can't believe i'm actually asking him out now.
"do you maybe wanna go get dinner after school?" i asked. it's just a bro thing. he'll think it's just a bro thing. right???
i felt my hands shaking in my pockets, but it wasn't noticeable.
"i'd love to!" he said, giving me one of his huge smiles. something seems a little off, his smile is bigger than usual, as if he's trying to hide something, but i didn't question it.
"alright. i'll pick you up at 5:15?" i asked. he nodded.
"alright! then i'll see you after school!" i said, walking to my first class of the day.

(ishimaru's pov)

did he just ask me out?
i felt the butterflies in my stomach get more intense every second.

'i think i'm in love with him.'