Harry Potter and The Fight of Logic vs. Love

Decisions

Author's Note:

Before I begin I want to say that the only thing that I own in this story is the plot. Even that is loosely based on the endings of the Half-Blood Prince. This story picks up where HBP leaves off. I do not own the characters or the settings.

Secondly, there is some minor Weasley bashing later in the story but it gets resolved.

Thirdly, this is a Harry/Hermione fic. That is the main pairing.

Hope you all enjoy it, and please review. 

Chapter 1:

The funeral had just ended, the guests were all leaving, and people were crying every direction a person would look. Albus Dumbledore was a man who, as he was now lying in his white marble tomb, could keep few eyes dry. Wherever the trio looked, they could see the fear and sorrow fighting in everyone's eyes. They felt the way everyone looked, though they tried not to let it show. The jet black haired boy stood defiantly, after having told the Minister that he would not become his lapdog only moments before. His heart ached in the passing of another person who was one of the closest to a father figure he had ever had, yet he was determined not to show it. He fought against ever strain in his body to cry out, knowing that it would only upset his friends even more. He could feel the people stealing glances at him, looking at the Boy Who Lived for support and any sign of hope. He knew that the people would need him, but he was not doing anything for them, but rather for the family of red-haired siblings and their parents, who took him in as one of their own; as well as the bushy haired girl standing behind him with the youngest of the red haired boys. They alone were the reason that he would do what was asked of him, and he had to make sure that he would succeed. Harry Potter; the Boy Who Lived; the Chosen One. People had given him many names over the years, but he would trade any fame and fortune just to live a normal life.

With one last look and a pang of guilt for not being able to help the former headmaster in the final moments of his life, Harry turned away. He believed that this would be the last time to look over the grounds, and with this belief he had said his final goodbye to the former headmaster's tomb in his mind. He did not want to think about what he would be missing, or what would be done to try and dissuade him to leave. All he wanted to do was to be alone and to decide what his next steps would be. Ron had told him only a short while ago that he would need to come by and visit the Burrow, if nothing else then for the wedding. Harry had assured him that this would be possible, but now that he thought about it, he was not sure he could face the Weasley family. He had nothing to shame him away from them, they had assured him what happened to Bill was not his fault, yet he did not know if he could be around everyone when they seemed to leave all their worries behind.

He didn't realize he had even started walking away from his two best friends until he heard no sniffles behind him, no crowd murmuring just out of audible distance. He looked up and realized that he had left Hermione and Ron behind, and they hadn't followed him. He looked around as he walked, seeing Hagrid's hut standing as a memory of the battle that had occurred only a short time ago. He could still see the burnt roof, where the death eater's spell had set it ablaze. He remembered seeing Hagrid fighting them off, and remembered Fang's howls from inside the hut. He turned his back, promising himself that he would try to never have this happen to his friends again, that he would not bother them with his presence, that he would run just to keep them safe. This was the logical thing to do, to run to keep them from harm. Surely, if he was not around them, he would be able to draw the rage of Voldemort away from them and focus it solely on himself. The name brought more thoughts to Harry's already demolished brain. Voldemort, the reason all this was happening. What would he do, would he do as Harry predicted and hunt him down? Or would he choose to kill all Harry had to keep hope for? No, Harry was sure that if he had the chance, Voldemort would look for him, to end this charade that Harry was more powerful than him. But would he start looking in the most likely of places, the Burrow? Not if Harry could help it. Harry thought about it, and he was sure if he could create enough of a racket in one place, Voldemort would follow it blindly and ignore the Burrow. Harry was sure of it.

As Harry walked, he continued towards the lake, and he could see the spot where the Merpeople had come to pay their respects to Dumbledore, and more sadness welled up in Harry. Not far down, he saw where he had seen Dumbledore talking with the Merpeople after the second task of the Triwizard Tournament. He started to wonder how much he had known about the headmaster, and how much there was that he didn't know. He was so into thinking about Dumbledore, that he didn't hear someone walking behind him. He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder, and he spun around so fast he almost tripped. Luckily, the man standing behind him was able to catch him before he fell into the water. Looking up, he saw it was the last remaining marauder, member of the Order, and his ex-defense teacher.

"Are you alright Harry?" asked Remus Lupin, and Harry could see that he had not even been able to hide the sorrow in his eyes.

"Ya, I am fine, no problem. I mean, about as alright as I could feel after what's happened in the past couple years. How about you?" replied Harry.

"Well, it is difficult. I mean, I know that it is going to be difficult to get through, but I know that everyone together, we will make it through. That alone is enough to give me the satisfaction knowing that Dumbledore will be avenged. I know that he wouldn't want us thinking like that, but we can't all be another Albus can we..." Remus trailed off, going deeper into thought.

"How can you stay hopeful like that, knowing that when it comes down to it, you are basing all your trust in a 16 year old boy, one that doesn't even know what is going to happen, or what they are planning to do? I just don't get how everyone can believe that I am the one that can do it, because I don't think I can do it myself. I don't know if I can deal with the idea that everyone's fate is wrapped around my decisions. What if I screw up? Then everyone will be completely destroyed, everyone I care about." He glanced towards the castle, and in the crowds he could distinguish the various heads with bright red hair, but he couldn't make out exactly who was which. The only one he could make out was the one red haired person holding a figure with bushy hair. He immediately felt his throat start to tighten seeing the two of them, knowing that they would soon be able to tell each other how they feel, and that they would be able to have a relationship without fear of hurting the other or the other being used against them. He stared at the rest of the red haired people as they walked into the castle, and wondered which one was the person he told a short time ago that they couldn't be together for fear of this thought. He was reliving the last few hours and didn't even realize Remus was responding to his question until Remus shook him.

"If you would listen to me Harry, you may get a response to all those questions you ask. I told you, I know you Harry, I know you and I know your family. I know that even though you are young, you come from a family with parents that no one would be able to find better ones. They died for you Harry, they could not have loved you more. They knew what they were doing, even if it wasn't until their instincts kicked in, but they knew. They knew what they had to do and they did it, and I would say that when it comes down to it, that you would do that too. I know that you will do what you need to, that whatever happens, you will know what to do. I know, somewhere deep down, that what Albus always said about love being the most powerful emotion and strength in the world was true. And I know that you will not screw up, you will make the right decisions, if only for the fact that you are driven by love. No matter what Harry, you will always have people around that will care about you. Just look, you can see them all around you. Trust me when I say, the cloth from where you were cut, the Potter and Evans cloths, were the strongest in the world, especially together. I know that you will win, that you are strong. Now we should probably be heading to the castle, it is getting late and they will want to start the wake for Albus soon." He moved so quickly that before Harry even had a chance to wipe his tears that were flowing freely again, he was embraced in a hug. A friendly hug, an almost fatherly hug. Harry knew that he had to do something, that he could not let everyone down. He hugged Remus back, the last of his father and mother's best friends. He would not let them down, he made that pact.

Remus let him go after almost a minute. Harry just stared for a minute, and then it registered that Lupin wanted to head back to the castle together.

"Listen, I will catch up with you professor," and after the look that said 'not anymore I'm not' Harry rephrased it. "I mean Remus. I just need some time to process what happened, everything we talked about, everything you said. I need to compose myself, can't let the people see their 'saviour' as a crying baby can I?" he said with a disgusted look. "I will be there in a little while. Please."

Lupin saw this as a statement, and could see that Harry was starting to think again, so he left him to his thoughts with the parting words "alright Harry, but promise me that you will come inside before it gets dark. People will start to worry, and by that I mean two in particular."

Harry nodded in agreement, and continued walking along the lake until he was sure Remus had left him. He turned and saw the shabby looking wizard walking up the hill towards the entrance of the castle. Harry still had to think his plans over, but after his conversation he realized that maybe all was not lost. If Remus had hope for him, who knows, maybe he could get through this. Maybe he could run back into the arms of the red head that he had let go to protect her.

Soon Harry had come upon the favourite tree by the lake, and had decided this as a peaceful enough place to think. Looking out across the water, he remembered all the times his friends had been around with him. How could he leave them, would he be able to when the time came? He had to. But he wasn't sure if he was strong enough. Then the words Remus had said to him what felt like 2 minutes ago came flooding back. 'I know that you will win, that you are strong..................................."

Before he had a chance to get up, he felt all his emotions of the day catching up with him, and he realized how extremely exhausted he was. He figured that they wouldn't miss him up at the school, so he closed his eyes to the setting sun, only now realizing how long he had been outside walking the grounds. 'Who cares' he thought. 'This is the last time i will probably see them, might as well say goodbye properly.'

And with that he fell asleep.