Closer Apart

Chapter Nine(Rocky)

TW: Anxiety and drinking
I straightened my tie in the mirror, tugging on either end. No matter what I try, it's never perfectly centered. I sighed and tugged at the edges of the soft maroon fabric. Running my hand through my hair, I tried not to stress too much. It was tough— I had to make sure that this night went perfect for Cam. Speaking of..

       There was a knock at my door and Cam popped his head in.

"Hey, ready to go? Mom is gonna want at least five minutes worth of pictures."

"Yeah I'll be right down."

      I heard him jog downstairs, and the knot in my stomach just twisted itself even more. The thing about anxiety is that it's hereditary. Cam got it, which means that I got it too. Tonight, it was especially bad. I fussed with my hair for a few more minutes and then decided to go downstairs. Before I did, I made sure to put a smile on my face.

        Emerging from upstairs, I saw my brother seated at the table with my dad, and my mom standing near the staircase talking to my date, Sarah. They all looked so happy.

"Hey."

          They all turned to me and smiled. My mom started tearing up at the sight of her two boys, all dressed up to go out. I headed over to Sarah and greeted her, then walked over to Cam and ruffled his hair, "You ready guys?"

"Wait one second!"

Mom grabbed us by the shoulders and positioned us in a formal position next to the staircase. She gestured for Sarah to come stand by me and I put my arm around her waist. Mom snapped what felt like 10,000 pictures before she finally let us go.

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       It took us about two minutes for us to get to the school. I walked beside Sara and we chatted about the last football game. She was a cheerleader and came up to me after the game. Her heels must be killing her. I wish there was something I could do. I feel like such a bad date. I subtly shook my head, trying to get the intrusive thoughts out of my head.

         We got to the school and my heart started pounding for no reason. We walked into the gym, one of my hands in Sarah's and the other on Cam's shoulder. The gym was filled with kids, banners, balloons, and streamers. People were talking and laughing and dancing. It was really loud.

"Hey, my friend Becca is over there, I'm gonna go say hi, but I'll catch you later, okay?"

I nodded at Sarah and she walked off. I must have looked as nervous as I felt because Cam leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey, Rocky, are you okay?"

I shrugged him off and nodded.

"Are you sure? It's just that you look a little-

"Cameron, I'm fine! Okay?"

      He stepped back and said, "Alright then..." he trailed off, "Hey I'm gonna go say hi to James and Stella," he nodded towards his two friends that were waving at us. He walked away without saying another word.

      I shuffled towards the snack bar, looking for something to do. My anxiety was getting worse by the second. Something bad was going to happen, I could feel it.

       I looked across the gym and saw Cam with his friends. They were all laughing and talking. Why isn't his anxiety overreacting? Why does it only have to happen to me? I'm being stupid. Why can't I just keep control of my thoughts. Something's wrong with me. Not even Can wants to hang out with me. I just-

All of a sudden David came over and punched me in the shoulder.

"Hey, dude!"

"Oh, hey."

"This party's so lame, amiright?"

I laughed with him. However, I still wasn't feeling too relaxed.

"Hey, man, you should have some of this. You look a little off."

David suddenly pulled something from the inside of his jacket. It was a flask. And I don't think there was water inside.

I wasn't going to do it. I don't drink or smoke at school. Who knows what would happen? But I was feeling jittery. I didn't want to be like this the whole night. Maybe this would calm my nerves? But maybe it wouldn't. Maybe I would do something stupid. Something stupid like what I told Cam about that night at David's party. I could mess everything up.

No.

None of this tonight.

So I took the flask.

"Bottoms up."

Hello my lovelies! I hope you liked this chapter. It gets way more dramatic from here on and I'm really excited to share it with you all! Remember, you're all beautiful and amazing. ~Toodles!✨