Going Under

Chapter 1

Hi! I'm Evz and I guess I'm writing a book. I'm gonna try and update regularly, but I can't promise I will. Times been speeding by me, so if I don't update it probably means it slipped my mind. I've always wanted to be a writer, and I'm going through some stuff so this is gonna be my weekly check-in on myself. Make sure to do a check-in on yourself too :)

I feel like I'm being repeatedly assaulted by my own mind. Where do these intrusive thoughts come from? One moment I'm fast asleep and then next moment I'm hyperventilating over the fact that I'm HERE. 

And I've been "here" for a while. I don't know how I can still be in the first stage of denial. It's like a heavy weight is constantly pressing on my chest and I'm pushing it off with everything I have in me. And the moment I realize it's gone, the weight falls back twice as heavy as before.

 It's okay though. I'm okay I guess.

Two or three weeks later - I really couldn't tell you

The bells rings, shrilly and totally unlike the bells you hear in movies. It's the kinda of noise you would picture pterodactyl making. It's also the kind of noise that makes students trample over you in angst to get to their lunch. I still have another 80 minute period to get through. Oh, the wonders of AP World History. Can I die yet? 

I arrive first, as normal. Taking my seat in the back of the class, I pull out my notes and wait for the class to file in. It only takes a few minutes before the uncomfortably shuffling of feet stops and Mrs. Higns starts drowning about the First World War. I don't pay attention. 

Third period passes and suddenly I'm walking to lunch, half starved and devoid of any emotion. I rush through the endless hallways, making my way towards the small freshman cafeteria. I spot Tyra, Lyla, and Fiona before they see me. 

Many sophomores would consider it social suicide to sit with freshman, but it's only on A days and I love them with all my heart. They're the best friends I've made since moving here's few months ago. No one really notices a new kid, take it from a frequent one. There's just too many people to keep track of all of them. 

Rounding the corner, I slide into the lunch table and Tyra  smiles at me, her mouth full of food. I'm not the only one with A lunch one day and C lunch the next day. It really messes with your eating schedule. 

I nod at Tyra and tear open my own lunch. 

"... and then he SMILED at me. HE. SMILED. AT. ME.--"

I laugh and Lyla glares at me. She's had a crush on this kid in her drama class for AGES.

Fiona pats Lyla's head, frowning, "I'm sure he likes you."

 I stifle another laugh as Lyla beams. She's really got it bad. Tyra snorts, and we start talking about how terrible the cafeteria food smells.

Lunch ends as fast and the months do and I'm thrown back into being the quiet kid in the corner. Not that I mind. I am the quiet kid in the corner. 

~~~

The whispers die as Mrs. Terra walks into the room. Dreaded art class. I have to remind myself everyday why I took this class- it's an easy A. 

Mrs. Terra's shoes squeak as she shuffles to the white board. Seconds later groans erupt from the class and I look up at the board to see that she's switched our seats... again. Does she not realize that people are gonna talk no matter where she puts them? 

Kids get up, grabbing their stuff and heading to their new seats. I scurry up, my fear of standing out making me reckless as I search for my new seat. I sigh as I slide into the chair, which is in the back corner. Thank god. 

My relief ends when someone slides in next to me. My eyes go wide as I'm met with a pair of green eyes. What the hell. I know I did NOT just get paired with Ronan Davis. He smiles at me, his perfect teeth almost gleaming. I resist the instinct to frown. 

And once again, I have to remind myself why the hell I took this class. 

"What's your name?"

I blink at him. "Kia."

His smile grows brighter and he offers me a hand. I shake it hesitantly, becoming aware of the fact that we're both wearing rings. I steal my hand back awkwardly and rummage through my bag for a pencil.

"I think you're in my math class." 

"Oh... cool." Oh my god, if this kid doesn't take a hint soon. 

"Here I have an extra pencil." 

I look up from under the table at the same time he slides his pencil at me, and the tip hits my forehead. His eyes go wide. 

"I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean to do that." 

The whole interaction is so incredibly embarrassing that I laugh. Once he's sure that I won't attack him, he starts laughing to. And then we're both gasping for air as everyone becomes acquainted with their new partners. Mrs Terra slams her ruler on her desk, the signal for everyone to be quiet. 

People stop talking and I'm forced to shush Ronan. He places his head on the table, his dark locks falling in the shape of a small halo. I look away and zone out. 

The bell rings and kids leap from their desks, chairs screeching. Mrs. Terra starts yelling and I sling my bag over my shoulder, but not before I realize that Ronan's head is still on the table. I hesitate before poking him on the back with the pencil he lent me. He doesn't move and I poke him harder. He shoots up in his seat and glares at me. Like really glares at me. 

I raise an eyebrow, drop the pencil next to him, and leave the class.

Okay so... an introduction? Also, sorry if there's some errors. I don't like going back because I know I'll just end up rewriting everything over and over. I'll try to update again soon. I hope everyone had a good day. If not, tomorrow will be better! 

Lots of love, 

Evz <3