He'll come through

Chapter 23 - Desperation and Despair

Chapter 23

Lilah was inconsolable.  A month had passed since she’d been carefully towelled dry by Quinn, and then dissolved into tears as he walked out the door. She still couldn’t quite believe that he’d gone, that he’d just left with no looking back, but she did at least respect him for not saying what he knew she wanted to hear. But her last words to him had been ‘I love you’, and it had stood for nothing.

Before he disappeared off into the unknown, Quinn had spent some more time with Freddy at her parent’s home then headed back to some other war zone, but she couldn’t bear to see him again. So she stayed away, leaving the two males to each other. Whilst her mother didn’t question, she was immeasurable in her support. But Lilah kept it all inside, unable to find words to describe how she felt even if she found the inclination.

She threw herself back into life, preparing Maria for her trip to the States, caring for Freddy and trying to keep her mind busy, but each evening as she sat alone, her heart broke all over again. All the anger, frustration and pain of the last twelve months seemed to intensify.

Lilah had flown with Maria to Boston and had a huge humdinger of a battle with Gavin’s parents, at the airport; she’d then flown straight back, traumatised at spending more than twenty four hours away from her baby. But when she’d got finally got back to the house, she’d had a call from Gavin’s mother, understanding the predicament in the cold light of day, and away from the emotions of the moment, she realised that Maria wasn’t happy in boarding school, and they agreed that she could live with Lilah full time and attend the local school in the village. Maria had come on the phone after and cried, thanking Lilah for helping her.

The travel and the time zones had taken their toll on her, so here sat Lilah on a bright July morning missing Quinn, missing Maria, even missing her parents as they’d taken the camper van to Ireland for a few weeks, and feeling completely knackered. She’d emailed some photos of Freddy to the email address Quinn had left, it was Amir’s, but the only contact she had for him. The message she’d typed to Amir had been brief and not overly friendly.

                “Amir, I have attached some photos for Quinn if you have chance to pass them to him. I do not want to hear about him, or from him, but please pass them on. Thanks, Lilah.”

No response had come, but she didn’t know whether that pleased her or made her angry?

Needing to close this chapter of her life, end all the uncertainty, she decided that she’d not waste anymore time, in moping around the house and dwelling on the past. So she took the bull by the horns, and decided to go to visit Quinn’s mother. She deserved to know about Freddy, and he deserved another grandparent. She’d been there once, the large home in the Oxfordshire countryside, so packing up for the day, she made her way the next morning.

The house was as she remembered, large, imposing, perched on a hill on the outskirts of picturesque Oxford. The drive way alone was longer than the main road through her village. As she pulled Mike’s car up outside the front door, she spotted a face at the window and before she’d unstrapped Freddy the front door was opening.

                “You’re a friend of Quinn’s!” his mother exclaimed, obviously recognising her. She was an elegant woman, tall in her late fifties. Her greying hair wound up in a top knot, her twinset and pencil skirt a stark contrast to her mother’s floaty dresses or dungarees. Yet she imagined they were probably the same age.

 “I’m Lilah Dawson. I came here about a year ago looking for Quinn.”

His mother nodded, glancing down at the baby seat she could see the wheels of the older woman’s brain turning. “I’m Gloria, Gloria Martin.” She shook Lilah’s hand. “Did you find him?”