"I promised her mom those two things. I promised that I'd give her anything that makes her happy and that I'd love her." Jihyo faced Nayeon and it was that time when Nayeon saw Jihyo's shedding tears.
"The second promise, I'm pretty sure I can accomplish that until the day I die. I love her that much." Jihyo reassured.
She turned quiet for a moment but then turned to the older girl with new tears brimming in her eyes. "But if her happiness is with Sana and not with me, shouldn't I just let them be?"
"Jihyo." The said girl looked at her unnie. "You've never thought about yourself this entire time, have you."
"It's not like I don't want to put myself first," Jihyo took a sip of her beer. "but when you love, you always put them first, right?"
She turned away and stared at the moon. "Every time you see them, you put them first. You always want to make them smile because you think that's the best thing that you can ever see in this world. Even when they're not around, you still think about them before yourself. When you're at a mall, thinking if you'd buy a new dress for yourself or a puppy plushie for them, you already know that you'd pick the puppy plushie because," Jihyo shrugged. "you put them first."
"Even if they hurt you, you still put them first." Jihyo turned to Nayeon. "If Jeongyeon unnie broke up with you and you learned that she's hurt one random day, what would you do?"
"You'd still choose to help her even if you know that you'll be hurt when you see her, right? You can't say that bullshit excuse, that you're doing that because you're only a person helping another fellow person, no. That's entire bollocks and we all know that's only an excuse."
"We still choose to put the person we love first even if they hurt us. That's how stupid the world is. We are all big masochists in the end."
"So what are you going to do?" Nayeon asked.
Jihyo shrugged, resting her elbows on her knees as she hunched. "Probably live in my grandma's for a while."
Jihyo turned her head and looked at the tall condominiums surrounding the park, remembering the one room where she saw the most heartbreaking thing in her life.
"I can't stay at the dorm. As much as I love her, I can't stay in the place where everything changed. If I can be a masochist, I can also be in denial."
"I'm here Jihyo. Don't ever think that you're alone. If you need someone to talk to, call me. I'll drop anything for you." Jihyo smiled, touched at her unnie's words. She wiped a tear away. "Thanks unnie."
"So how are you going to go from here? Are you going to ignore her? Them?" Jihyo shrugged again. "I need time. I...can't fathom to see them right now. Or any time soon."
"You will need to talk to them eventually." Nayeon rubbed circles on Jihyo's back.
Jihyo wondered if her unnie can hear the continuous bombing in her heart.
"I know." She said quietly, hanging her head low.
After some a few moments, Jihyo looked up at Nayeon with teary eyes. "Can I hug you unnie?"
Nayeon smiled and turned her body towards the girl, spreading her arms wide. Jihyo gave the girl a grateful smile and wrapped her arms around Nayeon's waist, hiding her face on the crook of the bunny's neck.
Soon, loud sobbing echoed in the dark, isolated park.
YOU ARE READING
fragments
Fanfiction|| a short jitzu fiction || jihyo made 2 promises, and she vowed to keep them until her final breath. love and happiness.
