I'm going to rant about my crush and maybe other things because I need an outlet

he's an artist

Today I watched him draw, he's so good at drawing. Each line on his paper is perfect and beautiful. I wonder how he knows where to put the lines he does it so perfectly. Its really nice to watch his hands, his beautiful hands. He still has a scar on his left hand on his middle knuckle. It makes me think of the other day when I asked him if he knew his hand was bleeding.

He's so good at drawing it makes me wonder how someone could be so good at drawing. I could never be as good as him. Even my best work could never be as good as his average drawings. Every drawing he does is great. I have some of his drawings on my wall along with other drawings I have from my friends. His drawings can go from cartoon ish to very skilled drawings that you could see in manga. After watching him draw for a bit I felt butterflies deep in my stomach.

I don't think I have a hand fetish but i do like his hands. I love watching his hands while he draws. When he made details and leaned in a bit into his drawing I almost leaned closer to the drawing as if it were drawing me in. I had to stop myself. He and his drawing were consuming me.

I could get lost watching him draw. It just takes me to another world. A world where I am content, just thinking about him and watching his beautiful mind spill out on the paper.

He was free handing it too. He wasn't tracing, he didn't have a reference photo or anything. I was just him drawing whatever was in his head.

He would make lines and then erase them and redraw lines. Im not sure weather him erasing was him erasing his mistakes or if it was all intentional.

And now after today I'm obsessed with watching him draw. He's so talented. It's like magic to watch him make such excellent works of art.

I wish me and him could have a chance together but I don't want to ruin our friendship and he could be straight. And his mom finds out everything and his mom is a bit homophobic and she definitely wouldn't want me to be her son's boyfriend.

Sigh, we love falling for our friends, it's the gay curse.