𝒱𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒳 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒪𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈

ℕ𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕪𝕒 𝕐ū 𝕏 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕖!𝔻𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕕!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

⚠TW⚠: This story will include the topics of depression, suicidal thinking, insecurities, swearing, bullying, and self-harm. If any of these topics are a trigger for you, please click off of this story. Thank you.

Character: Nishinoya Yū

Series: Haikyuu!!

Reader: Gender neutral 

Type: Angst

You're also a member of the Karasuno Volleyball team.

I won't be adding stuff like (y/n)-chan of (y/n)-san since the reader is using gender-neutral pronouns, and like I'm kinda too lazy to keep track of that stuff so I'm just gonna be using normal names.

info: (some may or may not be included in the story)

y/n=your name

l/n=last name

h/c=hair color

h/t=hair texture

h/l=hair length

e/c=eye color

s/t=skin tone

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MY POV

I fucking hate it here. I hate everyone and everyone hates me. They want to me fucking rot in hell. They all do. I should just...give up on everything. I was cursed with this awful life. I never wanted it to be like this. I just want to be happy. I want someone to love. And I doubt anyone would ever love such a low-level scum like me.

Ok, enough with the rambling. I have to get ready for school.

School...

At least I'll get to see my friends...and I'll get to see the team again. At least they don't make fun of me.

I forced my body out of bed and moved towards my closet, and pulled out an (f/c) hoodie and an (f/c) long sleeve shirt. I grabbed a pair of (f/c)leggings/pants/whatever you want. Once I put on the outfit, I stared into the full-length mirror on my door. I gazed into my bloodshot eyes stained with tears. I began to silently sob as I pulled my hoodie sleeve up and stared at my scarred fore-arm. I moved my finger along the scars and cried, wishing for this awful feeling to vanish. But that would never happen now, would it? I clenched my fist up and began to punch my arm. I kept on hitting myself and weeping. My arm began to be marked with various bruises from what I had done. I took out a razor and began to cut. Crimson red liquid began to drip out of my arm. I couldn't stop myself. It hurt so bad. But...I kept cutting. I slid the silver razor about 1 inch under the first cut. I wailed out in pain. Luckily, my parent(s)/gaurdian(s) left for work that morning. I bawled and held my arm. I grabbed a towel near me and began to clean up the blood. I threw the towel into my trash can near my door and dashed into my hallway. I entered my bathroom and took out some band-aids and put them over my fresh cuts. I threw away the extra pieces and walked back into my room. My eyes burned and felt like they were about to explode. I wiped my tears with the hoodie sleeve and put on my (f/c) shoes. Once I was fully dressed, I grabbed my backpack and walked into my hallway, and looked back into my room. I glanced around at the depressing scenery. There was trash on the floor, clothes were thrown everywhere and in piles, my bed remained unmade, and everything is out of order. I closed my door behind me and sighed. I ambled my way into my kitchen and stopped. 

I wasn't hungry. I didn't have to eat. In fact, I haven't eaten properly in about 3 days. I suppose I'll be fine.

I walked to the door and closed it behind me. I locked it with a key and walked to Karasuno High.