Harlivy

Why did she leave?

I lay on the couch of me and reds apartment, alone and sad. I gripped the book she had given me tight to my chest just wishing it was her instead. She had gotten me this book because she knew how much I loved to read but never got the chance. I guess I would have time now that she left me. God, why did she leave me? I knew it would happen eventually, it's all my fault. It always was.

My Pammy was always too good for me. Too good for the world. I mean, of course, she had her faults but the truth is the truth. And she loved me. Not like Mista J did. Not that he really loved me. Ivy being the great friend she was taught me that. She always said:

"Harls, you know you deserve better than someone who beats you. You need someone who loves you. Like me"

I may have added that last part. I know red loved me but not like that. She was my best friend. She wouldn't love me that way. I didn't love her that way. I mean I don't love women like that let alone my best friend. Although if I did I would definitely fall for a girl like Pam.

Ya know thinking about it she was perfect physically too. Each carve blended perfectly into the next. Each piece of cherry red hair fell perfectly in place. She was enchanting even without her pheromone toxins. I ofter questioned at night why I thought about it so much. I thought about how she would taste, how she would hold me differently than she did now. Every time she was close to me I immediately felt better.

I got up from my spot on the sofa and walked to the kitchen for a drink. I hoped when I turned the corner I would see her there sitting next to her small plants on the counter, feet crossed, drinking her mug of coffee. She wasn't. I knew she wasn't.

She left me a note 2 nights ago

"I'm sorry Harley, I'll be back in 3 days. I just need time to figure 'me' out."

That's it. That's all I Had from her. She should be back tomorrow. But what did she need to figure out? Why couldn't I help? Why did she just up and leave without telling me, just leaving some shitty note? I deserved more. No, I don't. I wouldn't be surprised if she never came back. Got away from me for good. Good for her, I would leave too if I could.

I'm supposed to be some great psychologist, well I was, but I can't even help myself. I mean how great could I be I fell in love with one of my patients and I'm roommates with another. God, I really do deserve all this. It must be the universe punishing me.