bubblegum bitch

chapter ten

4:15 AM

It's late. I need sleep.

But I can't stop thinking about her.

There she goes again, digging into my mind and soul and heart, stirring up emotions I don't understand and don't want.

Damn you, Marceline.

I really thought I was over her. At least romantically, She was still there, always in the corners and cracks of my mind, her words echoing around my head until the only thing that could shut out her voice was her voice.

The only thing I needed to hear all those years was her voice.

Not the sad copy my subconscious had created. I needed her.

 And now she's back and I heard her voice and I can't wait for her to leave. But I need her to stay because she is the only thing keeping me from whatever comes after life.

I need her to stay because I need her voice.

I can't live without her voice again.

I can't.

Hearing her voice was like...  rolling down the windows and desperately inhaling again and again for that scent of the ocean that you just can't describe.

There are no metaphors that do it justice, because the only thing that makes sense is her.

Nothing makes sense. She confuses me. But there's something about her that makes the world feel right.

Or, if the world is wrong, at least she's here.

At least she holds me.

But she doesn't.

Not anymore.

Even before she left, she confused me. She was shamelessly flirting with me one moment, distant the next. Sweet and shy, then confident and cocky. Flushed and kissing my neck, whispering my name and pressing her lips to mine again and again as if she couldn't get enough.

Screaming at me in the palace gardens.

Leaving.

Marceline confuses me.

But I want- need to understand her.

She was the only person that got me- that cared about me beyond the face and the kingdom.

She cared.

I thought she did.

I guess she's just like everybody else.

Meet, kiss, hurt, leave.

Repeat.