wonderwall [narry bxb]

harry's pov

i woke up to a bright light streaming through the curtens and onto my face, temporarly blinding me for that moment of disorantation. i dont know about others, but in the morning, it seems like it's the only peacefull time i have. only hearing the birds chirp out side, some times the pitter patter of rain agianst the window, and i try to saver every moment of it, but sadly, i can't.

i swung my legs off the bed, and stood up on my wobbly legs, my knees almost giving out from the lack of sleep that ubscured me last night.

i ran a quick had through my messy curls, deciding i did'nt need a shower, and then went to my closet, pulling out a blact long sleeve and black skinnies.  well thier will soon be black on my eyes. confused right? well everyone at school hates me. im even sure some of the teachers don't like me.  i, Harry Edward Styles, am flat out gay. i like guys. guys are attractive in my mind, and i dont see one single problem with that, but people at school...i guess they see alot of problems.

"harry your going to be late" my mother yelled, snapping me out of my thoughs.

"kay" i replied, and hurrid to brush my teeth, and fix my messy curls, so they were messy but in a sexy way. why do you even try to look good? eveyone already hates your faggot-ass the voice pinched at the back of my mind, making a frown find its way to my lips. but its not like i didnt know that.

"c'mon harry! you dont wanna be late do you?"

"yes i do. i wanna be late, so i can avoid everyone that hates me. i dont even wanna go to school.' i wanted to say, but all that came out was "ok im coming". its amazing how somone you used to tell everything to, suddenly knows nothing but lies. i feel bad for her. she proboly thinks im popular, and that i have a girlfriend, and that everyone loves me. to bad its the exsact opposite. she doesn't even know im gay for fucks sakes!

I finally made my way out the door, and stuffed my ear bubs in my ears drownding out the world.

i stopped in my tracks once i was out side the school, the laughter could be heard from out here. everyone here has friends except me. no one would want to sacerfice thier reputation to hang out, or EVEN talk to the faggot.

i walked up the steps, and pushed the door open, preparing myself for the blows that were about to come.  and they did.

fag

stupid

retard

fat-ass

gay

faggot

tears brimmed my eyes as i soaked in all of thier insults.

"sorry" i said barley above a whisper as i pushed passed the crowd that had formed around me.

as i reached my locker, i shoved everything in it, and took out my history text book.

"were you going faggot" i heard from behind me, and clenched my book to my chest, like it was a shield that could protect me from zayn.

"Awwe is the faggot not gonna talk" he cooed, and messed my hair up.

"ewww zayn, your gonna have faggot germs" a by stander shouted, followed by a eruption of laughs.  i felt a tear roll down my face, and i didn't bother to whipe it away. in a wierd way, crying makes me feel stronger. like, when i cry, and getting all of the hate out of me. like each tear, is filled with hate, that needs to be out of me. to make me stronger.

'Stop" i said just barley above a whisper.

zayn's eyes filled with curiosity, like he had just seen a aniaml talk.

"did you j-just talk?" he asked through laughs. i looked up to meet his gaze, my eyes burning with hatred.

"i said stop" i commanded, more forcefully, and stood up to meet his hieght.

"yeah. who's gonna make me? defiantly not you" he snarled, venom dripping with every word he spoke.

i looked side to side, seeing no one offering to defend me. who am i kidding? no one would even talk to me.

he leaned closer to me, and brough his lips centimetres away from my ear lobe.

"thats what i thought. no one would ever stand up for a faggot."  he whispered, his breath sending shivers down my spine. then he left, his posse following. so much for trying to stand up for myself.

why was being gay such a crime? im still human arn't i? i still have blood pulsating through my viens, i still need oxygen to survive. but, why did everyone treat me as if i was mutated. a sinister creature that would feed off of them. a monster. im not a monster am i? am i really that scary in thier minds? was the horror of me being gay chilled them to the bone? or was it the discusting factor that warded them off? eaither way, i was completely and udderly sick of it.

if they wanted me to kill myself so badly, then thats what i would do.

thinking of all of this remeber me think of a facebook staus belonging to a wall flower girl in my math class.  'why wait? if you want somthing so bad, go and get it!" . i dont think that status was aimed at anything to do with harming your self, but thats what i was gonna do. i wanted to die, so i was gonna do it. tonight. why wait right? a bitter laugh escaped my lips thinking about all of this.  why havent i thought of this before? i could've been done and the pain would've subsided forever.

i ran out of the now empty hallway, and to the forest.

i knew exsactly what to do.

~moments later, and now in the forest~

 i stepped acroos the pine needles that scatterd through out the forest, and found what i needed.

an old tire swing hung from a branch was in my sight. i dont know who's it was, or how long its been here, but it would do.

i untied the tire, and let it fall to the ground, the tied the end of the old rope into a lope, the perfect size for my head, and neck.

how was i gonna get my head in thier now? i looked aroung, seeing nothing but logs, and trees. thats it!. i jogged over to a fairly large log, that was about three feet in diametre, and a metre long. i rolled the log under the pre-made noose, and stood ontop of it. my head was now towering over the lope in the rope.

i slip my head into the loop, my curls extremly messy from all of the contact.

"here goes nothing" i muttered, and attempted to kick the log out from under my feet, before i felt guilt pang in my stomach for my mom. i should atleast tell her i love her just one last time.

i reached in my pocket, and dialed her number. she picked up on the first ring.

"hunny whats wrong? is everything at school ok?" her frantic voive spoke.

a dry chuckle escaped my lips. nothing was ever ok.

"yeah, yeah. i just wanted to tell you that i love you mum" i said, and hung up before she replied. now were was i? . i wiggled my feet around, and rolled the log out from underneath me, feeling the rope dig into my skin instantly.

i let out a muffled horendice scream, and then felt the pain being instanly released.

i looked up, seeing i was still in the air, but the rope wasn;t around my neck any more. i then looked down, seeing a boy about my age holding onto my torso, lifting me up so the rope could no longer strangle me.

within a blur, i was on the forrest floor, my knees tucked into my chest, and sobs were racking my body. i was just saved?