Chapter 25

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Halò.

For your information,
I gave up on punctuation.

Enjoy

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"Dad!" Canada shouts before running up and embracing me.

The tears just seem automatic to us both in the situation.
I feel almost paralysed in the hug.

"I'm sorry I missed your calls, so sorry. I tried calling back but you would never answer and I got worried 'cause I knew you weren't feeling the best and I came here and I couldn't find you and I didn't know what to do and... and... I'm sorry, I should of been a better son."

That last sentence seems to snap me out of my shock.

"No." I say and tightly hug him back. "I should of been a better father. I just didn't want to commit after the divorce... but I wish I did, at the same time as I wish I didn't. I should of cared for all of you better... I should of cared for myself..."

"How about we just agree that we weren't taking care of each other as a family... as much as I hate to say that..." Canada says, and there is a slight pause.

I don't dare let go of him. I don't want to leave him, again. I don't want him to leave me, again.

"I was so scared... what happened?" Canada asked me.

"It's... a long and quite crazy story." I say with a small laugh.

I proceed to explain to Canada some of the events that took place in my... departure. Why I ran away; how I met Soviet; how I stayed at the cabin; how through time I gained confidence again; and eventually coming back to here.

Of course, I purposefully avoided the full story of spending time with Soviet. The parts where we were obviously crushing for each other—and the fact we're currently in a relationship. I'm just not ready to say that to him just yet.
And Soviet gets that too from my story.
I almost forget he's standing there quite awkwardly in the doorway.

"Sorry for all of it..." I say to finish it off.

"You don't need to apologise, it's all a bit crazy and we can work on apologises later. For now, I'm just happy you're okay... I thought... you were in a bad place... I just... I thought the worse..." Canada tears up before he can finish the sentence.

"No, no, no," I say and hug him even tighter. "I would never... I don't even have the courage to... I wouldn't quite forgive myself for it either. I just... wanted some relief... you know."

"Yeah... I know..." Canada says.

I'm not too sure if he was just saying that he knows as a lie to make me feel better about what I'm saying, but either way, it did make me feel better about what I'm saying.

Canada gives me one more big squeeze before letting go and quickly going and hugging Soviet.

Soviet seems a bit taken aback and I can tell he feels more awkward than he was.

"Thank you." Canada says.

"Uh, no problem." Soviet says.

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