The Remnant Mercenaries

Untitled Part 1

THE BADLANDS, 8:30 PM


"FOOLS!"
"MERASMUS THE MAGICIAN HAS COME FOR YOUR SOULS!"
The Great Magician yelled out as he appeared in a bright flash of green light before being covered in a green like covering as he was in his Ghost Form before then battling the Mercenaries he had attacked every Halloween or so.
The Wizard was absolutely tired of all of those past defeats at the hands of those Nine idiotic mortals that he tried to kill because of his inability to kill the Soldier and promising that he would destroy everything the Soldier loved because he was being a TERRIBLE ROOMMATE!
Even having to go as far to kick the crazed veteran out of his own house but that didn't stop that moron from doing the worst thing of all... trashing the CASTLE in which he lived at!
Yes, it was Halloween as everybody knew it to be but it was also something else..
SCREAM FORTRESS!
"DAMN YOU MERASMUS, YOU ARE THE WORST ROOMMATE!"
"I AM GOING TO PULL A RABBIT OUT OF YOUR ASS WITH MY BARE AMERICAN HANDS!"
Soldier said as he pointed the Rocket Launcher at the ground before pulling the trigger as an explosion could be seen with the Soldier being sent towards his target by the explosion and now yanking out the Market Gardener as he reeled the arm holding the shovel back before swinging at an early time to get it timed a little more correctly as he'd smash it into the Wizards face for a CRITICAL HIT! But only for Merasmus to cast HELLFIRE! Upon the crazed American as Soldier would be sent flying upwards into the sky by being zapped by the Green Magical Energy emitted from the spell before falling to the ground and taking Fall Damage, faceplanting into the ground as all of this happened while the other Mercs were trying to get some hits in while also trying to not get destroyed by the Wizard's various spells and attacks.

"DAMNIT!"
"OOUGH, MY AMERICAN LEGS!"

"MEDIC!" Soldier would yell out at the top of his lungs before then crawling his way like he did back in the great massacre against the Nazi's back when WWII was still going on although he was never accepted into the military but he did get congratulated with medals, that he made himself.
Ah, he remembered that time and wished he could kill more but he had to sadly stop immediately after hearing the war was already over so he now works with these nine maggots to fight over land.
"Ughh.. Dummkopf!"
Medic would let out a frustrated sigh because of the fact the Soldier had done a stupid thing especially when fighting a Magical Wizard as they have before on various occasions in this specific month of the years they have been fighting the opposite team for and although the great Robot War was already over and they lost their jobs they were still harrassed by this annoying wizard every October.
But anyway back to the present.
The Medic would take out the Crusader's Crossbow before firing a few shots at the Soldier from afar which healed the Crazed American a little with each shot but eventually got the man back to full health with a few more healing arrows.
While trying to be careful of any random things the Wizard might throw at him while that Wizard would also be trying to kill the others currently focused on him only for a glass of milk to suddenly be thrown at the Wizard's face with any attacks on the wizard being made would heal anybody who dealt damage as he let out an angered groan before summoning bombs with Magic and then just throwing them about at the mercenaries in retaliation as Heavy would be seen running for cover while also shooting at the Magician with a shotgun as the Medic followed from behind- He was building his ubercharge to push the tide of this battle soon enough.

"FOOLS! FEAR THE POWER OF BOMBS!"

"What dumb son' of a bitch casted tha-"
The Engineer would watch a bomb roll on over before halting in its tracks after bumping into his Level 3 Sentry as the Texan looked down to see what it was before not being able to realize it was too late before trying to scramble his Texan Ass out of there before then being flung back by the force of the explosion as his buildings did not survive sadly as they were nothing more than just metal parts now with the Engineer then landing on the ground in agony but was able to manage as he wasn't really launched that far so he reached deep into his left pocket before pulling out the Pistol and attempting to unload a few rounds into the Wizard before actually getting up to go and try and build another sentry again.

"Yoyo, Merasmus guess what!"
"WHAT YOU FOOLISH MORTAL?"
"I did yo' mother last night!"
"IMPOSSIBLE! SHE DIED IN THE GREAT WIZARDCON TRAGEDY OF 87'!"
"AND I-"
Merasmus would suddenly be interrupted by a baseball being thrown directly into his face as he was taken back a little by this before getting even more enraged by the fact this man had just thrown a baseball at a WONDERFUL MAGICIAN such as himself before suddenly making the Nine Mercenaries freeze in their place before then letting out an annoyed groan but finally being relieved that if this works he could finally be rid of the Soldier for good, he didn't care about the other mercenaries safety anyway.
"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE HUMILIATION OF BEING BEAT BY A SENSELESS MORTAL LIKE YOU!"
"AND SINCE I STILL OWE THE JAPANESE MAFIA ABOUT $24,000 IN DAMAGES TO THE LATEST CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE I WILL FINALLY BE RID OF YOU.. ONCE AND FOR ALL!"
A Giant Green Portal would open up behind the Wizard before he stepped to the side and then used a spell to slowly make the Nine Mercenaries move closer and closer to the portal as they would still be frozen and unable to move.

"Where the bloody hell are you gonna send us, mongrel!?"
Sniper yelled out from the top of a small perch he had himself set up in, being frozen due to the Magic Spell that Wizard just inflicted on every mercenary- not to mention the fact that they were also being sucked into the portal.
"Anywhere.. BUT HERE!"

"MERASMUS I AM GOING TO SLAP THE MAGIC OUT OF YOUR SORRY PANSY MOUTH YO-"
Soldier would be the first to be sucked into the green mystical portal as his very-racist comments about wizardry and dark magic were cut off because of this with the Demoman being next but it was revealed that lad' was asleep this entire time because he drank too much before this battle even happened in the first place along with the furious Eyelander complaining about not being able to collect heads due to his wielder being drunk at the moment followed by the others as Merasmus was nowhere to be seen but after the last Mercenary got sucked in the portal would then close and the Mercenaries found themselves being sent through a spiral green tunnel of magical proportions before they were then separated from each-other in a few groups of two except for the Engineer due to separate pathways and the uneven amount of people in this Green Tunnel starting to open up as they were then sent at different locations in..

REMNANT
Somewhere in the northern mountains of Anima.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Man, this is taking a long ti- OUGHF!"
Scout would face-plant onto the white ground before looking up to see that he was in some sort of area filled to the brim with snow as he realized he should have brought a coat before then getting up and brushing some snow off of himself-
The Demoman would suddenly crash down onto the Scout as the poor man would be almost crushed by the other mercenary. Demoman would still be asleep before suddenly jolting up awake after a few minutes and then pushing the scout away and getting up off the ground in a panic before looking around and then took another look at the bottle o' skrumpe to see if he was drunk as hell before looking up at the moon only to notice it seemed to be shattered into pieces on one side while the other was still intact.
"Whot' the bloody hell is this!?"

"Yo, i don't think we are even on earth. Holy crap."

TO BE CONTINUED!
I REALLY WANT TO THANK A FEW SPECIAL WRITERS OUT THERE WHO INSPIRED ME TO EVEN MAKE THIS THING BUT EH, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
BE SURE TO SEND IN SUGGESTIONS AND STUFF.