And Yet So Far

Jake - L O S T

Yes, I liked Emma. But the problem was, I didn't really think she liked me. Sure, she looked at me sometimes, but then again, most people did.

I just wanted it to be something more, something concrete and sure.

"You can't spend your entire life moping after some girl." My friend had said. "You gotta do something."

I was. I was going to do something. Just what I was going to do, that was the problem.

A couple weeks passed, per normal. A girl dyed her hair, highlights or whatever. They actually made her look pretty ok, apart from the whole barbie type appearance.

More weeks passed me by, and an idea grew in my mind.

I talked to the girl with the dyed hair, noticed the not-so-secretive hints she dropped, picking up on her liking me.

And all was going to plan.

I talked to her more, and eventually asked her out.

She said yes, and then we dated for a month or so, give or take.

It wasn't that I liked her, I just needed her as a place holder of sorts.

I still longed for Emma, but that part would come soon.

I broke up with the other girl, didn't tell anyone why, or how, or when. Didn't know myself.

Now was Emma's cue. Now was the time that she would realize I was free for the taking, and she would run to me.

But she didn't come.

Eventually, even the glances during class slowed, then stopped, almost completely.

I was losing her.

She was slipping, right out of my hands.

And I had no way of stopping it.

This plan, this apparent failure of a plan, had ruined anything and everything there ever was or could have been.

It ruined the one chance I had, my only hope of gaining her trust, her love.

And I had lost it.

I had lost it.