Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I walk down these streets yet again, my home since past few years, as the sun shone in its complete glory, and I already feel so tired. Tired of myself.
There are times my brain fries up. It's no excuse I know, I own my behaviour, I own my mistakes and my flaws. I try to be good, to be better since ages, but then a trigger is flicked. My emotions turn fearful, anxious, I feel a cold feet and I simply back out, flee or strike out at someone who loves me. In these moments I am least proud of who I am, for I have everything that I ever wished for, yet it seems like a hammer struck in the skull to live with my ownself, anymore.
Life sucks today as well!
July 28, 2014
A week! a week since life got back on track, hectic college sched, assignments, weekend catchups with friends, a few past feuds which still continued, and at last, the family. No matter how many friends you make, no matter who are you in love with or what's the one thing you think about, at the end of the day it's your family who defines you and shapes up your individuality.
And Nandini Thakkar! well we could say that Thakkar family was a complex topic for discussion, and she was not a big fan of any sort of typical family discussions at all. A web of hidden reality and lies? She was better off it, not that the reality was very amusing, but still better than smiling on the outside while the heart is shedding tears of sorrow simultaneously.
And today, her family was responsible for the person that she is today, both the negative and positive aspects.
Irrespective of that, Nandini was in a joyful mood today, today was the final date for the submissions of their assignments, and she was extremely ecstatic with the output she had.
The group was done with their second or third lecture for the day. Nandini had her CS course next and she was hoping that her professor would be impressed. Apart from Aryaman and Alina who had classes right now, the other four were hanging out in the canteen.
Manik noticed as she thoroughly revised her assignment one last time for the third time. And oh boy! When he said that her smile can light up his world, he so freaking meant it. Her smile brightened up his day and her frowns made him uneasy, especially when he was the reason for that.
Last week, when he had refused her to show the pictures on his camera, for obvious reasons, that he had his collection filled with her candid moments and dear lord if she had seen them she would have been creeped her out with him for life.
However, he had expected her to be upset with him and since the moment he left college, he had been thinking of ways to pacify her and justify his actions. While the next day he was all prepared to manofy her, the moment his eyes settled on hers, it was as if she didn't even remember about the incident, as if his actions made no difference in her life and she just didn't care.
But damn! Did it hurt? It eventually did. It hurt like a bitch!
He knew that his feelings were always one-sided but these days it felt like even his friendship was one sided. It dawned upon him that she didn't think of him as her own friend, he was either her dad's best friend's son or her friends' friend who just happened to be in the same group as hers.
