i'm ready

❁

I looked at him last time, before turning away with tears forming in my eyes. Putting on a table with other gifts, a little white envelope with a letter written by hand, that started long time ago and was finished just a couple of hours ago.

'To Hin, from Tay.'

I heard people clapping, wanting to turn and look at him one more time, but stopped myself before I could, because I knew that it would be harder to walk away. I stepped outside, dropped my head back and gazed into the night sky, breathing in, cold, fresh air. As I breathed out, a small tear escaped from
my eyes. This is it. I'm letting you go.

I cleared my throat, quickly wiped my face.  Catching a cab to the airport.

———————————————————————

"Hey Hin. Yep, i'm writing you a letter. I actually have been thinking about it quiet a while, and If I started, this means that It's probably time. You found someone. Someone special. I hoped it would be me one day. I can't believe it's been all this years. I should have moved on, a long time ago. But I just couldn't. Couldn't forgot your soft touches, your warm skin, your little whines every time you wanted an ice cream, your small teases every time I did something wrong, your laugh every time you found something funny, how you lectured me every time I caught a cold, your fingers that you were used to wrap around mines as in excuse of being cold, your small mole on the tip of your nose that I used to kiss to wake you up in the morning. And I don't mean to be selfish, but my heart breaks every time I see you smile, because I know it's not me who brings it out of you anymore. You found somebody new. You've moved on, you've put me in the past. I wonder what could have happened if I wasn't scared. Weren't scared to hold your hand, to kiss you in front of everyone, to say I love you.

You proposed. You proposed to her. And she said yes. Of course she would say yes, god, every one would say yes. And I can't believe I've cried all this tears. I didn't even knew that a human can such a big capacity.. You were ready to tell the world you love me, but i was scared. And now it's too late.

It's my fault. I know that. I noticed it every time I used to tell you to wait. Every time I used to tell that it's not the right time yet. Saw how you tried to hide your tears behind a smile every time I brushed away your hand when we were in public. You deserved to have a second chance, but you also deserved my explanation. And you deserved to know my feelings. Maybe I made a mistake telling you because when I looked at your eyes after I told you , and there were tears. And pain. Pain that I've caused. I said that I'm sorry, and you said that it's too late. That it's your weeding day tomorrow. But I still hoped and prayed that maybe there is still a chance, still a little, miserable chance. And I hoped that better late than never, but I guess not. But you happy, and that's what matters. I saw your smile, and it's genuine. But if by chance it don't work out with her, you'll always have me. I will be waiting. I love you. Maybe I didn't get to say that in front of the world, but I wish I could. I wish i could tell it to you once more. But I can't. I don't have a right to. But please, know that I do and I'll always will.

I love you, Hin.
Tay."

———————————————————————

5 months later.

I woke up, and looked up at the time. Fuck. It's been already months, and i still can't get used to the time zone. I moved to Korea, took a job offer. Photographer in a local magazine company. It's always busy, full hours, a lot of moving. I like it. I barely have time to think during the day, but when I'm coming home, even if I'm dead tired i still can't fall asleep, because all I could think about, is him.
Korea. I like it here. I've been here already, with him. I'm trying not to get across the places we've been in together, but when the mood is on, I find myself sitting in the same place we've been having our breakfasts during our trip together. I laid on my bed for, what felt like eternity, trying to fall asleep, when I heard knock on the door. Who the hell came, at this hour, I thought as I started moving towards the door. I opened the door, and froze.

"Hey." - There he was. The reason of my pain. The reason of my tears, The reason of my sleepless nights. The reason why I'm here. And I felt that I could breath again.

"Hin" - standing in front of me, stunning as always. Soft hair that I wanted to touch every time. Deep brown eyes, that every time I looked at them I thought I'm going to drown. His little cute mole, on the tip of his nose that I wanted to kiss. And oh god, his lips. I wanted to kiss them too, so badly.

"You said if it don't work out with her, I'll always have you. You'll wait for me."

"I still do, Hin." - And I will wait for you forever. I was scared, but now I'm ready.

———————————————————————

a/n
hello polcas, it's my first story. hope you liked it. please vote :з