TAKE IT EASY • TC ✔️

48. The Real Meaning

Lu sat there for a while, just thinking.

She turned the TV back on and watched the same stories on a reel for something to do. By the time she'd listened to the same interview three times, she was no longer thinking, not really aware of herself or even the bright images on screen. She reached for the remote. Switched the TV off again.

When she got to bed that night, nothing seemed right. She tossed and turned, rucking up the covers around her waist, breathing shallowly in the stifling heat. She opened the window as far out as it would go. Even stuck her little nose out into the night air, hoping to catch the ghost of a breeze travelling past her cheeks. Nothing.

So she got up, stripped off what little she was wearing, and flopped back into bed, her hands resting on her stomach. She pinched the skin there, rolling it between her fingers. Drummed her hands against her tummy thoughtfully. Turned onto her back but then her bare bum was in the air and it felt weird so she half-covered herself with the sheet and held it close to her body.

She tried fanning herself, but that made things worse. Tried listening to classical music, but she was scared of waking everyone up and ended up playing it so quietly that even she could barely hear it. She tried reading, but she was stuck on that same page she had been on when Marlon came over to investigate earlier. None of the words made any sense, at least not together.

She tried almost everything, tried laying as still as possible and thinking of Timmy. He seemed almost like a dream, like a fantasy which had her hand trailing between her legs and her breath coming out in short little gasps. She spent far too long thinking about Timmy, thinking about him next to her, on her, in her, and it was midnight by the time she got up to go to the bathroom.

Lu wrapped a bath robe around herself. Pattered down the corridor to the toilet and cleaned up quietly. She stared into the mirror as she washed her hands and barely recognised herself in the dim lighting, just the shadow of her face visible. She thought about it some more. Sprayed some perfume and went downstairs as quietly as possible, her bare feet squeaking on the wood. She'd made this journey enough times to know the squeaky points on the floorboards, spent enough time peering through the slats of the banisters and the party below to know how to go unnoticed.

She trailed through to the kitchen and almost screamed when she saw Marco sitting there. He looked up from his phone. Ran a hand over his eyes and gave Lu a tiny, tired smile, which she didn't have the presence of mind to return.

"Have you not gone to bed yet?" Lu asked quietly, shuffling to a cabinet and turning the tap onto the lowest setting so it wouldn't make too much noise. Marco shook his head, bit on the side of his nail and looked at it briefly before biting it again.

"I got side-tracked," he said quietly. Locked his phone and set it face down on the table.

"Right," Lu replied. Sat down opposite him and took a slow sip of her water. It was cooler down here, with the French doors open, and she welcomed the breeze that ran up her bare legs.

"So you and Mom were fighting?" Marco asked, resting his chin in his hand.

"You heard?" Lu replied. He nodded, picking at the side of his thumb again.

"Kind of hard not to," he smiled gently. Nibbled at the hangnail and then tore it away from his mouth as if he'd just realised what he was doing.

"Right," Lu said again, because she had nothing else to say. She took another sip of her water, and suddenly her throat felt exceedingly dry. She gulped down half the glass in one go.

"I take it she's still selling the car?" he asked, and Lu nodded. Watched the second hand on the clock tick round and round.

"She doesn't think it's worth keeping," Lu said bitterly. And it's not like I have the money to pay for the insurance or take it with me to New York. It's not like you do, either," she mumbled. "So...it's going. Apparently."